Redwood Trees

I remember hearing somewhere that redwood trees grow best in a community as they support one another by their root system intertwining beneath the ground which is kind of like us joining arms (I always remember Red Rover Red Rover, send ____ right over). Sometimes it was very hard to break through those interlocked arms. For two days I have been thinking of redwood trees because I have been realizing that we are all so very important to one another.

Today for me is a good day. I had worship team rehearsal last night which I so needed. I just felt all day yesterday that I needed to shout to the Lord and it turned out that joining my voice with my worship team family took that shout out of me as singing to the Lord is such a powerful form of worship for me. Hallelujah!

I ran into a friend in the bathroom at work. She has been going through some things and I saw and felt her hurt. I thought of the redwood trees. She has helped me feel better when I was hurting, just by being there. I hope I did the same for her.

I think of my new friend Livvie. (I shared her blog with you once). One who was standing for her marriage, but has had to move to a different place in life and I marvel at the words she wrote “I certainly feel victory over the pain now.“ I am so happy for Livvie because I know where she has been and am enjoying hearing about where she is going.

I think of the redwood trees. Of the calm, cool presence of standing beside one another. Livvie, I completely believe that God never wastes a hurt as look how much you have helped me. I am grateful to have you in my grove.

Today my prayer request is that we are like those redwood trees, hard to knock over in a group, and like those interlocked arms, hard to get past. Let’s continue to stand for one another and meet each other where the other needs to be met.

Let’s keep looking for this day “The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you.” Romans 16:20. And let's help each other to remember that his grace is always with us.

I Don't Live in a Dream

One of my favorite songs by one of my favorite singers, Jackie Greene, says the following:

I don’t live in a dream. I don’t live in a dream. I don’t live in some land forgotten; I don’t live in a dream.

Today – as I was riding the bus to work I saw a huge billboard advertising beer that said something to the effect of Welcome to and Enjoy Hell – like hell was a great place to be because of this beer. I felt anger, not just at this billboard, but at Satan. So very angry because how is it that we come to a point in the human race where blatant wrong and sin is so very ok and acceptable.

Recently, a new show was set to start on television “Parenthood” it is called. I was very excited because the trailers for the show seemed to hit some real points of life. However, as I sat down to watch the season opener; I decided then and there that I could not watch this show. One of the female stars of the show had divorced, moved back to her old home town to live with her parents, taking her teenage daughter with her. She got back into town, had one date with an old high school boyfriend and was having sex in the next scene.

Mind you, I am by no means a prude as I have been there and done that. However, I am trying to stand for what is right in this world and to be a better me and to help young girls behind me, mainly my daughter avoid lessening what they could be by “going to and enjoying Hell”.

Our church’s youth pastor and his wife – I think they are both 25 just had their third daughter. Their first daughter has Down’s Syndrome and is, I believe just turned three years old, their second is one and their third, just born, probably is 4 weeks old, born about 2 weeks prematurely. Well, she was admitted to the hospital the night before last with pneumonia and yesterday was discovered to have Pertussis (whooping cough) as well.

Another family in our church announced on Facebook yesterday that they might have to move out of the area due to things just being so hard here and not being able to get on their feet. I’m guessing they have family elsewhere that can help out or lend a hand up while they get going as they just got married in February and are a blended family trying to get started.

I think this is what started me on my so mad at Satan moment today. Darn it, the youth pastor and his wife serve our youth so well with a vigor and a love that is bold. This other couple just started being a presence in our church and we have fallen in love with them – I know I have. Why is Satan allowed to make his statement of opposition to good so loud and clear? Why do I have to ride the bus to work and see invitations to go to hell as a great place to be going? Why is sex outside of marriage shown so freely and blatantly on television? Why are good people who are trying to make a difference in this world always having to fight so fiercely the opposition of Satan?

My prayer request today, please join me, is that Satan not be given this free hand by us Christians. That we join in and pray for this world, for our people, for this youth pastor and his family, for this newly married couple. That Christ will rise up in all of us to fight against Satan having his way. That maybe, just maybe I can ride a bus and see a billboard that shows a picture of Jesus proclaiming “I am the Light of the World Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."

After all, I don’t live in a dream.

I'm BAAACCCCKKKK!!

Ok, I'm sort of back. I guess I lied to you in saying that I would only not blog when I was completely unable to get to a computer. I forgot about being on death's door, sicker than a dog moments. Well, I have been just that sick. So, did you miss me?

It hit me out of nowhere that I was straight out sick at 2 in the morning on Friday. I rode all the way to work on the bus only to turn around and catch the train without even stepping into work. My husband came home sick shortly after I got home and sick is what we stayed the entire weekend, not even taking a break from being sick. At 2 in the morning on Saturday I woke up, knowing I was burning up and began to just plain laugh because I got my Flu shot, my H1N1 shot, but this was way beyond any cold.

Which led me to think that no matter the precautionary measures we may take in this world, life still finds a way to happen. I hope that each of you has covered themselves with the precious blood of our Lord and Savior. Because my friends, life happens. Never waste a minute of it and know that if life happened to you, you'd be going to a wonderful place.

Stand for Me

I went to work today - got downtown and caught the light rail right back home. I'm sick and I am going to let myself be sick today because I want to be better tomorrow. Woke up at two in the morning, but thought I'd give it a shot and the shot just didn't work out. Anyways..

I have been pondering the wonderful words of my new posting friend Livvy - words that I shared with you yesterday - and in doing so, God has spoken to my heart. The time for me to give up on my stand is not at this time, but now is the time for something else for me to do. I need to stand for me. I am, after all a valuable, precious commodity. I am a relentless woman of Christ. One who stands for something. For the right in this world rather than the wrong. Yes, I need to stand for me and I need to let things happen as God would want them to happen and not get hurt or worry or sad because GOD IS IN CONTROL!

I acknowledged just last week that I really realized I have given my life to the Lord. Just this week, God has worked through me in some amazing ways. But no, now is not the time for me to quit standing, just a time for me to stand for me. I will tell you the truth in that I came to this acknowledgement even before I got home from work yesterday, I think it was on a bus ride home and when I got home, faced with the normalcy of what I knew was there, I had a certain peace when I got in the house and I think, just maybe it showed because I stood for me and for one of the first times in a long time, my husband actually seemed like he cared about what mattered to me.

But, don't worry, I know the the adage - Expectation of man is breeding grounds for disappointment. Expectation of God is breeding grounds for miracles. I myself and going for the miracle.

Friends

Today is a day for me to really think about something. You all know that I am not a quitter, but I would love to share with you a response I got from someone who was standing and finally let go and let God. When I responded to this response she sent me, I thanked her for sharing "Our Story". I wanted to share with you.

Please give me your input, but today my prayer request is that we all let go and let God and not "try" too hard at anything. I love you all.

Please hang in there for this read, I know it is long, but any of you who know and care about me can soak it up as I go on this journey of mine.

Never say never
April 22, 2010 by Livvy Ospry

I got a comment on my About page by a woman who wanted to know this:

At what point did you KNOW that there would be no more reconciliation and how did you know how to quit. And approximately how long till the heartache ends once the quitting has started.

Dianne,

I wish I could tell you there was a moment when I knew. But for me it was more like the unveiling of truth over time. I did not want to accept it, I wanted my husband to come home. But he had different plans and he didn’t care what I wanted. Not anymore. I sat and prayed and cried for months while he went off and did exactly what he wanted to do. No matter how strong my faith was in the Lord I knew my husband had a free will of his own and God would not force him to come back. I knew that God hates divorce but his number one priority is always our spiritual health and I began to understand that maybe I was better off spiritually with my husband gone. He had not treated me like a wife for over a year in any way. He gave not one hint that he would ever even consider coming back. I had to accept reality instead of the idea that I could save him. It wasn’t up to me.

As soon as I let him go emotionally and mentally I began to heal. Little by little. It’s been about 8 months since I started to heal and I’d say I’m about 90% there. Up until that time I left myself very open to get stomped on by him. I let him know I would never give up on him, told him all the things I thought were worth it and highlighted his strengths. But he had already moved on months if not years before. I was treating him like a husband because that was MY reality. But he was not acting like one. He had broken his vows AND left me for months. And at one point I found myself realizing that whatever hope I was clinging to was wrong in two ways.

One is that we should always pray like Jesus did in that we can plead our case but ultimately honor God as the sovereign authority in our lives and trust that whatever he allows in our lives will be best for us. I had been praying for my husband to come back. Period. I knew that God hated divorce and I wanted him home. It was the only acceptable result. I didn’t let myself think about if God is who he says he is. And if God is outside space and time then he already knows if my husband’s hardened heart would soften. If God knew he would never willingly want to be married to me again in a way that would honor Him…maybe just maybe God would allow him to leave for good because God wanted more for me than that? I needed to accept everything that God allowed in my life as His will for my life. And I had been shaking my head saying..”No, no no…God hates divorce.” And I could not see passed that.

And two, letting go did not mean quitting or giving up. Since he had already left and I had done everything in my power to please him before leaving and was patient with him after he left, I knew that my conscience was clear. I was not the one who gave up. I was the faithful partner sticking it out until the end. And I would have done anything to save my marriage. But you can’t save anything alone. Especially a marriage. If the other person is already gone, you can’t save them either. They are their own person and they are adults and you can love them but you can’t force them to accept it. It’s I’m sure the same kind of heartache that God has when one of his children walks away. But you have to let them go. I still pray for my husband, for his heart and his spiritual well-being but I don’t pray for him to come back.

Having said that the state of your heart is paramount in healing afterwards. Know that you are right where God wants you to be. No where else. You wouldn’t be where you are if it was not God’s will because he takes everything…EVERYTHING and works it together for good to the people who love him and are called to his purpose. He doesn’t promise that to backsliders or people not in the faith. It is a promise to those who love God.

But here is the tricky part. And this is where the Holy Spirit comes in. You have to also be willing to accept whatever else happens. Your husband could decide to come back into the marriage, he could decide to go off and have a complete and total mid-life crisis and do a bunch of things that don’t seem like his character at all. You could be alone and single for a long time and get involved in even more at church and in your community, have lots of friends and a vibrant wonderful life. Or you could find someone new. The trick is to just let it happen as it happens. Don’t force any of it.

Redefining yourself comes through baby steps taken in the real world which takes time not by deciding a new life manifesto. I think a lot of times people determine what their next years will be like and then they are closed off to other possibilities. I wanted to so desperately do what God wanted for me instead of what I wanted for me. I wanted to be open to the Lords leading in everything. What I did with my free time, who I hung out with, how I parented my kids through the mine field of divorce and how I treated my ex.

And finally, giving up on a person is not the same as giving up on God. And I think I thought I did not have that choice. God is worthy of our dedication and honor and commitment. But people will often let you down. God has set up a definition of marriage and its importance but He’s also given guidelines for divorce. And He has done so I’m sure because He loves us. I did not want to quit. I DIDN’T! What I did was accept reality. He wants what is best for us. And if you are close to Him, reading your Scripture, in daily communion with God through prayer; you will know when the right time to let go is or not. You will know when it’s time to move on with picking up the pieces of your life and seeing the GOOD of what lies before you instead of the pain of what lies behind.

I had a friend of mine tell me that God not only hates divorce but he also hates sin. And if my husband was in open rebellion and an instrument of sin in my household, why wouldn’t God want him removed. She said, that God sees your heart and wants to use you for something and you might be in your obstinance getting in the way of that and prolonging your pain. Looking back now, that was a huge day for me. And if I had not listened to her advice I might not have met Martin. And God brought him into my life at just the right moment to change my story. I KNOW God used me in his life and now many other people’s lives have been effected as a result.

I have learned that what God wants for me is far better than what I cling to and want for myself. If God allows it, He will see us through it. And I am a testimony to that. It was the hardest year and a half of my life. At times I had to lean on God completely for strength because I had nothing left.

But maybe and I say this somewhat facetiously because I know in fact that this is what God was doing. Maybe God had a work he wanted to do in me too. Maybe he wanted me to let go and trust Him more completely. And maybe I had to go through a lot of heartache just because I simply was not willing to do that because I thought I had it all figured out and was working toward that goal instead of being open to something else.

My goal now is to hold onto things more loosely, to see everything as a gift and not a possession. And to understand it is a blessing and should be enjoyed completely but not coveted.

“Hold everything in your hands lightly, otherwise it hurts when God pries your fingers open.”
— Corrie Ten Boom

Dianne – I don’t know if this post helped answer your questions or not. I pray that you come out of your storm healthy and strong and trusting Him.


Hallelujah!

Be burdened

Burden defined: 1) Something that is carried. 2) Something that is emotionally difficult to bear. 3) A source of great worry or stress; weight: 4) A responsibility or duty.

“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: Love each other. John 15:16-17

We all have a God appointed burden to Love one another. Each of us, in our gifts, has their own personal burdens of saving the whales, fighting breast cancer, whatever it may be, but whatever the personal burden may be, they all spring from a love within us.

My husband is my burden. But through this burden of praying for and loving him, my burden has grown in that now I am burdened by the sin of adultery in the world and about the sanctity and restoration of marriages. Please know that I was not perfect in my marriage, but I know so much more now and I know how important marriages are not only to families affected by divorce, but to God. Saving marriages is my ultimate goal and my highest prayer. Saving my husband from the throes of sin and saving my marriage from divorce is right there in that mix, but my focus has truly shifted to helping others right along with helping myself.

A quote from B ill Bright says, “If God has placed a burden on your heart for a person, a group of people, a nation, or any situation, ‘pray without ceasing’ (1 Thessalonians 5:17), ‘ keep on asking, ‘press in, do not ever give up. God will answer. Great is His faithfulness!”

With all of the promises from God he has place in His word, with the burden he has laid on my heart, to pray for my husband without ceasing, to pray for my family to not be left – again, with the generational curse of divorce, I must keep on asking, press in and never give up. Neither should you.

What is your burden? Keep on asking, press in and never give up.

The Body Can't Live Without Salt

My daughter said to me today - "Did you know that the body can't live without salt?" So together, we decided that this would be the title of today's blog.

Matthew 5:13 Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.

In ancient times, salt was a very valuable commodity. Back then before refrigeration, salt was used to preserve the food. Salt was also the basis of much trade and commerce. In the Middle East, salt was used as a fertilizer on the acidic land - however, too much salt could also render agricultural lands useless for 10 years, something that was done to defeated foes to remind them of their losee.

The first thing we do as the salt of the earth is hold back or prevent decay. Just as salt in the ancient world was the only thing which prevented food from spoiling or going rotten so the Christian, empowered by the Spirit, is a barrier between the world of men and complete decay, complete rottenness, and complete destruction. God has chosen to make the Christian His front line of defense against Satan and all evil in the world of men. It is the Christian who is appointed by God to fight against wickedness and all the forces of darkness.

Instead of saying the Christian holds back or prevents decay we should say, instead, that the Christian preserves life. The Christian is a preservative that keeps life good and wholesome and beautiful – he or she prevents decay and destruction.

So - pass the salt.

Do not Quit

“So let us not grow weary in doing what is right, for we will reap at harvest time, if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9

Oh my gosh – that word so spoke to my heart today. In light of my stand and the persecution I face on a regular constant basis, I often feel like quitting, but in my heart of hearts, even without knowing this verse, I have known that I can’t give up on doing the right thing. To me, divorcing my husband would be the easy thing, but not the right thing. This would let Satan win and the God in me is so much greater than the Satan in this world. To me, this would be just another “give in to” Satan’s taking more control of his intended destruction of this world. I don’t care what I have to go through, but I will not let Satan have his way and know that if my husband divorces me, that my God will provide all of my needs.

Did you know that when you plant a seed of a bamboo tree that during the first three or four years this is no sign of growth. Below the surface, the bamboo tree is developing a strong root system which builds a strong foundation. After the plant starts visibly growing, the bamboo has a growth spurt in which the tree may grow four feet a day up to 90 feet total. Without that foundation the bamboo tree would uproot with strong winds.

If God created a bamboo tree to grow into something that tall and strong, what can he do with me creating a firm foundation in me that will protect my husband in all he does.

God assures us He is good to those who wait. “The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul that seeks him.” Lamentations 3:25

“For there is hope of a tree, if it be cut down, that it will sprout again and that the tender branch thereof will not cease.” Job 14:7. My marriage may have been cut down, but there is still a sprout preparing to grow.

Hallelujah! Let’s pray today for those who struggle in any problem they face that they don’t give up. That they have patience and serve and love the Lord with all their heart, mind and strength.

Soli Deo Gloria - To God alone be all the Glory!

Pastor said this verse in today's sermon and it really affected me. After having dealt with a very tough evening, I so would have rather stayed in bed and not gone to church, not sang on the worship team, not go to Klass, not go to Youth Group. Not do anything but stay home and cry. But I can't do that. I must live this life for God alone to have all the glory - after all, my life is His.

So today, I ask you to plan you every move to be for the Glory of God. There are no guarantees that it is going to be easy, but Jesus loves us and there will be a great reward. Hallelujah! In His name.

Hospitality

Yesterday I had the opportunity to spend time with a sister in church that I am newly forming a relationship with. I was so grateful for that opportunity as I had had a bit of a rough morning and was feeling a bit hurt and after Life's Healing Choices, we know that you can't get different results doing the same things. (Definitition of Insanity)

In going to this sister's home, i was reminded of a beautiful sermon that I will keep in my bible forever. This sermon was on hospiality and in that sermon I learned that we are to be hospitable - no matter our circumstances, to one another. Inviting others into our home whether or not our house is "perfect" our silver matches, whatever, invite others in because it is not the house that drew the others to us, but ourselves.

That said - breakfast at my house on Furlough Friday, May 7 at 9:30 a.m. Please RSVP - you know how to reach me and I will get the details to you as I work them out, but for now, God just put this on my heart to invite you over. Hallelujah!

Why Blog

Yesterday I received a reading from Rejoice Marriage Ministries, a ministry that has been a part of my life for the past 1 1/2 years. The link in case any of you have the time to read this is
http://www.rejoiceministries.org/cc/view.php?month=main&id=3925 However, in case you don’t have the time, here it is in a nutshell. Never give up on what God is putting before you. You have NO idea of what you will have to look back on if you stay the course.

This got me to thinking that I wanted to share with you the reason I am vowing to blog every day, only to break my days if I am camping or totally unable to make my way to a computer. None of us knows what the other faces on a daily basis. The above marriage ministry has been the reason why, when I am ready to quit standing for my marriage restoration that I have not done just that. This ministry has empowered me to realize that I am so very strong – even in my weakness because there is no earthly reward for me right now in my stand for marriage as there is very little support for standers. But I know that god is smiling on me right now and will say job well done when I meet him face to face.

Usually in the case of standing for a marriage or a wayward family member, there have been many hurts and wrongs done to the stander and their family members, Christian or not, truly think the stander would be better off without that person in their life and that the stander is wasting their life standing for someone who has made it clear to the world around them that they are nothing to them anyway. Often times, in marriage where adultery has occurred, Christians point the stander to the way out written in the word of God, a word which was written because God knew how humans can harden their hearts. Something I can not do because God told us of his commandments, above all of these is love. As I said yesterday, I truly love and can see beyond human mess ups.

Yesterday I spoke with a friend who told me that even though she knows of all I have gone through, that she sees me as an innocent, referring to Mathew 14:19 Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." I must be honest and say that for whatever reason, I often see myself in that light as well. Sometimes, when faced with the things I must endure during my stand, I am so shocked by the accusation or thought that I feel just like a child.
Those are the times when I feel most hurt as well. Again I say that none of us knows what the other faces on a daily basis.

This blog, I hope will provide hope for those who face hurts that they feel are insurmountable. I used to not understand Casting Crowns song “Praise you in this storm” but I get it now. There are times when my heart can be breaking and I can be crying and I will say “thank you father for this hurt because I know you never waste a hurt and I know that you will turn this hurt around for your glory. Father I praise you!”

I write this blog because it keeps me from sinning. Through taking the course Life’s Healing Choices, I learned that when I am hurt my old pattern of dealing was to reach out, yes, but to a sin, not to something that would be anything good for me. I will never lie in this blog and tell you that in times of extreme hurt those sins don’t still call me, but I REFUSE to let Satan win. I want to be an example to those who are stuck in addictions or whatever sin, that those things don’t have to win. The God in us can. I will also be honest and say that not so very long ago; I did reach out to a sin. I almost sat and wallowed in that horrible feeling of falling, but only allowed myself to do so for one day and decided right then and there that those old sins were no longer what I wanted to do. Even if they call to me in the times of hurt or anger, those sins will not win because I have the Light of the World shining in me and want to lead others away from those things that keep their lights from shining. Needless to say, the mess-up only claimed one day of my service to God and I jumped up and fixed my situation and just like Jesus forgets our repented sins, I repented and forgot that mess up, only remembering it for God’s glory to help someone else not stay down if they mess up.

So I write this blog to be an example. A real, honest, living example of someone who knows they are not where they are supposed to be, but some who is not where they used to be. I write this blog to let the light of Jesus shine through me. I write this blog to let anybody who reads it know that God loves them and so do I. I write this blog to keep myself in God’s will. This blog gives me the extra strength I need to remain standing even when circumstances seem hopeless.

So today, my prayer request is that all of us know that the kingdom of heaven belongs to all of us and to give each other a break because none of us really knows what the others face on a daily basis and that each and every one of us can let our lights shine.

I have a dream that can move a mountains hope that won't ever end even when the sky is falling. I know that miracles can happen. Life is so much more than what our eyes are seeing, we will find our ways if we keep believing. That's what faith can do.

Bambi and Ramblings

Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. This – to me is the bible’s version of Bambi’s “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”. I must be honest and say that I have lived this wording my whole life. My mouth is constantly governed by that and Bambi has helped form my life to being that of a person who really does not say much bad about anybody. Now that I am a Christian, I say to my daughter – who is almost 15 and could stand to remember Bambi herself, “Is that edifying?” Well, anyways, let’s make the world a better place by keeping it edifying.

One of the wonderful things about God is that he has made each and every one of us with our own gifts and talents. One of my gifts is that of love. I truly love people. I used to think that I would have been a great realtor because in every home, I could find something to love and to sell a buyer on. I can do the same and better with people. It is so absolutely rare that I ever come across a person that I don’t like and when I do, it drives me crazy. I love all of you and I really do love from the bottom of my heart.

However, how could we ever think that “there should be more people like me” when if you think about it. In a world full of Dianne Rene’e’s, things would be so messed up. My gosh, yes, we’d all love one another, but who would be in charge? The flowers would be beautiful, the food great, but who would be standing up and being strong and leading? No, that would not be good, so isn’t it wonderful that we all are different and build each other up to what we are supposed to be.

I have been remarking since yesterday that when we first become Christians, we are told to give up our lives for God. Give up my life! How scary is that and what does that mean anyways. Well, for me, giving up my life has meant to give up my fears, my sins, my desires and to let all of me be molded into what God wants me to be. I am not afraid anymore because although it is my life that I could lose, I will be ok because no matter what I lose, I have lost nothing because it wasn't mine to lose anyway. By losing ourselves in Christ, we have truly found ourselves. Praise God for Bambi, personal gifts and giving ourselves away. Through all of this, we end up knowing whose we are. Hallelujah!

Get Up!

One thing cool about Jesus is that he was a go getter! Not lazy, not whining but he went out and got the job done. I think Jesus wanted the same from us.

John 5:1-9 Some time later, Jesus went up to Jerusalem for a feast of the Jews. Now there is in Jerusalem near the Sheep Gate a pool, which in Aramaic is called Bethesda and which is surrounded by five covered colonnades. Here a great number of disabled people used to lie—the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, "Do you want to get well?" "Sir," the invalid replied, "I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me." Then Jesus said to him, "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk." At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked. The day on which this took place was a Sabbath,

Don’t you just love that.Jesus said “Get Up!” he did not walk over to the man and gently lift him with a sloppy sweet voice and say “come on now, you can do it, I’m here to help you”. He said “Get Up!”

How cool is it that our Lord would tell a paralyzed man to get up and basically “Arise – If you want to be well, Get up!”

I want to be well! I want those around me to be well. To not sit and wallow in our circumstances! To get up! Oh my gosh, I pray for everybody who reads this post today that no matter what they have going on in their lives, they will get up and meet those circumstances and be grateful that they have another day to try to do just that. Let’s all give our circumstance to God today and be the best we can be in our Service to the Lord who gave us the opportunity to get up today.

My other prayer will be for all of us to pray for those around us who are not rising up to the challenges of their lives or to the challenge of being the people that they were created to be for His glory. Let’s pray that they don’t grieve our Lord any longer and that they turn their lives into vessels of honor for Him. For men to be the husbands, brothers and fathers God created them to be. For women to be the wives, sisters and mothers we were created to be.

Let’s all GET UP! Hallelujah! FOR HIS GLORY!!!

Take it to the Lord in Prayer

It's your kindness that leads to our repentance oh God. Romans 2:4

I spent some quiet time with the speaker at our women’s retreat and the above verse is what she told me to live. I didn’t get it at first, because-after all=I’m not the one with the problem I have already repented, but then I GOT IT!

When we see how much God loves us and gives to us, we repent for having been the selfish beings that we are and for wanting more. As long as I have Jesus living in me and love those around me like Jesus, which means I am displaying the kindness of Christ from within, their repentance will come - all in God's time.

Today I am thinking of one of my favorite sermons about how nothing is too small to bring to God in prayer. It makes sense in that to God, everything matters and possibly, to God, everything is rather small, since God is the almighty one. All I know is that this saved my cat from being sent to the pound when she was a kitten. My daughter and I had gotten her from a family that said this beautiful white fluffy cat was her mother, but yet, from that house, I remember seeing in the corner of my eye, this scrappy squirrel tailed wild, feral cat tearing about. I am now certain that that wild thing was my kitten's mother. Well, I took this kitten, but this kitten was MEAN and getting meaner. Well, I told my daughter on a Saturday that if things didn’t get better through Wednesday that we would have to take the cat to the pound, something neither of us wanted to do, but I was growing more and more afraid of the cat (Leah is her name).

The message in church on that following Sunday was about bringing everything to God in prayer and that afternoon, I asked my daughter to join me in praying for Leah to change. All be darned if God didn’t answer that prayer. Leah – still a strange cat with feral in her blood, has become my all time best friend. It’s been over a year now since we prayed about that cat, but every now and then I look at her and remember that nothing is too “unimportant” to bring to God.

So today, I will remember that everything about me matters to God and that I am who and where I am is for His glory and as long as I am willing to yield myself to Him, he will make me what I am supposed to be. So today, I will remember that it is His kindness in me that will lead those around me to become what God wants them to be. So today I pray for me to be the woman God created to me – after all, nothing is too unimportant to bring to Him in prayer. Hallelujah!

I Love You

How I have missed hearing those words from the mouth of my husband. Sometimes, my heart just cries out with the memory of the safety I felt in those words, as well as the strength they gave me. I felt invincible in those words. Along with the discomfort of those words being gone, due to the continued rejection of my "I love you's", I have difficulty and an awkwardness in saying them to my husband as well. However, I come to 2 Corinthians 1:2-4 "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." So, even though I don't hear those words from my husband right now (they will come again) I know how much my God loves me because I believe in Him and because He created me to love me. I need to not focus only on wanting to hear the words "I love you" from my husband but need to always remember how much God loves me and how he created me to share the love of Christ to those around me. I don't want to let another minute pass by without expressing my love to the ones I love. Even if the fear of rejection overwhelms me, I am to show my love. "Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God." 1 John 4:7.

My relationship at times may seem hopeless or dead in the natural, but my God will bring it back to life for His glory. "When he heard this, Jesus said, "this sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it." John 11:4. HALLELUJAH!!!! Is that verse meant for standers or what. So, here I am, still standing, loving the Lord my God with all my heart, all my soul and all my strength. Along with that, I think I will just reach out and tell my husband I love him today, which I do..

Rock and Roll

Today I woke as usual with a song singing in my head, of course, just like my dreams, I can never remember what they were and the song title escapes me, but I do know that it was something pertaining to God.

Woke up at 5:30 this morning, made breakfast for the family and at 7 my husband joined me in the front room and we watched a movie, our son came over at 8 for a visit and our daughter got up at 9:30 and we just hung out, all fell back asleep and finally showered at 12:30. What a lazy day, but what a perfect day to be lazy as it is cold and dreary outside. I flaked on going somewhere I was supposed to go, but will be honest about it when faced with the question of where were you. I was completely happy where I was.

Before we went to take our daughter to the mall to meet her friends and watch a movie, I saw that HBO was going to have the 4 hour 25th Anniversary of Rock n Roll show playing and I immediately hit record. So, after getting home from lunch, I had to finish reading my homework for tomorrow Holy Spirit class and I did so listening to Simon and Garfunkle, Sting and Bruce Springsteen. My gosh I love rock n roll. At times, I try to keep my life so full of only the things of the Lord, but there I times when I can't help but turn on the Eagle 96.9 because I just love the good old rock n roll hits and I think that these things give me even more freedom to love the Lord because the music fills my soul with awe for the talents that our Lord can fill us with.

So today, I am thanking God for the people who know how to sing and for giving me a heart that enjoys those talents and appreciates all the beauty around me.

As an added note, I have to say what I have noticed God working on me. I was on the train the other day coming home from work when a heavy set woman with two young children got on the train. The children were rather unruly and I - in the old Dianne format - started to judge, in that very moment, God convicted my heart and I began to pray for that woman. I prayed for her to have help raising her children, that maybe she might come into contact with a SuperNanny to help. I prayed for her to have hope, I prayed for her to know that people care about her situation. I fell in love with that woman with the love of Christ in me. I wanted to go and hug her when I heard and saw her come to the realization that she was overwhelmed and she stated "I don't know what to do my kids are getting out of control" to her male friend who was with her. I don't know if God was touching her with a realization moment through my prayers, but today, I pray for that women to allow for God's healing touch to come into her life. I hope my prayers will be a good start for her. Please join me in praying for an unknown woman with two young daughters. Thank you. Amen.

Freedom and Strength

There came a point in my life not too long ago I realized that Jesus said "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:31-32. "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1-2. " Yesterday I wrote that I was enjoying the fact that I have nothing to hide or be afraid of. Living like that was slavery to sin. Due to my desire and God's grace, I am FREE! All except, my fellow followers, I have never gained the freedom completely from smoking cigarettes. If you can pray specifically for me today, pray for that. There are times that I feel that God is not restoring my marriage because I am holding on to that one sin in my life that I am a slave to, but then I remind myself that maybe standing is just one of the things God has brought me to to slowly weed out the sins in my life, which I am doing, one at a time and I know that he loves me - no matter what and that this sin's time in my life is soon coming to an end.

I think that is one of the things about standing for restoration. Standers are just about the strongest people I have ever met and I have learned to give myself a break because I am doing something so very hard. The rewards that I can see are so few and far between and the hurts are there daily. It's like God told me to go out and push a rock that is as big as a car, I'm pushing and pushing, thinking I need to move it, but all God told me to do was to push. He reminds me when I am exhausted that He will do the moving, the pushing is just building my muscles for strength. I'm getting stronger everyday, even when I feel my weakest.

But through it all, I'm still standing and serving and praising our God on high the best I can. Yes, I have an occasional melt down and want to give up, but then I remember I must be in a valley and it's in the valleys I grow...

Superheroes and Hope

Today is the day He has made! Oh how those words ring out to me even in my sleep. I am always gearing up for the next day to serve Him the best I can. I had a moment of pride the other day when I realized that I have nothing to hide. Living for the Lord and getting my life in His order has brought me to a place where nothing is hidden and I am afraid of nothing coming out. What a blessed realization that was for me! I am being washed as white as snow. There's a verse in a song called Forgiven that's out right now that says "The past is playing with my head, trouble knocks me down again. I'm reminded of the wrong that I have said and done - that devil just won't let me forget..." Well, the past is not messing with me anymore and although the wrongs that I have committed and those that have been committed against me sometimes bring to the surface a tinge of sadness, hurt or regret, I refuse to let Satan win! I had such a strong day yesterday of rebuking the things that came against me, but last night, I had the most tormented sleep and woke feeling that Satan was trying to attack me all night because I won all day! I woke once feeling as if my soul was crying out and found my face to be wet with tears and my husband said I was fussing all night long not letting him sleep. I don’t know if on days of strength that Satan – always looking for a loophole, would reach down into our sleep to try to mess with us, but after last night and seeing me grow in my stand for mine and other’s marriages and in my walk with the Lord, I almost believe that to be true. Tonight as I pray, I think I will remember the child’s prayer of Now I lay me down to sleep…

Last night we had a wonderful family gathering. I just love my family and wish that all my kids could have been there, but I had the opportunity to have a wonderful dinner with three of my kids and my two beautiful grandchildren and a blessed time was had by all. The reason I called today’s blog Superheroes is because in working with the youth group at church (my God I am so blessed to have this opportunity to share the love of Christ in me), youth Pastor Sean has been sharing a series on superheroes and villains of the bible and I have given my husband the moniker of “Dart Man” because he likes to throw darts and barbs to me – his favorite seeming to be those that can be done subtly in the midst of others that only I will catch or those thrown shortly after a wonderful time is had in a group and we are once again in the quiet of ourselves. Well, last night after the wonderful time was had by all and we waved goodbye to our beautiful family, he said “I wish I were in Mexico right now”. All I could think of was and just look what you’d be missing.

Although my life is by no means anywhere near perfect, I can’t imagine God wanting me any other place than where I am right now. I wouldn’t want to miss even one bit of what I have right now and feel that I have it all in the midst of having really nothing at all. Everywhere I look there is hope and promise of a brighter tomorrow – besides, God has plans to prosper and not harm. I honestly think I must have been one of those babies who was completely happy playing with a Tupperware lid rather than a beautiful, bright new toy because I really have nothing monetary, have nobody showing me the love that Christ would have them show me, nor do I have fancy things. But I have hope and I have my family, my church, the youth to pray for and to love, and a heart that is daily filled with more of Christ’s love to give. Hallelujah for Hope. Hallelujah for the strength to get up and go each day with the full knowledge of the fact that life is not as you would have it, but hey – Life’s Healing Choices taught me – I’m not where I’m supposed to be, but I’m not where I used to be. Amen

Never Give Up

Today is a new day full of even more hope and trust in the Lord that what he promised me will come to pass. God has promised to prosper and not harm me. God has promised to restore the years the locusts have stolen. God has promised that he loves me. Yesterday my husband had to remind me of how he doesn't care about me or about our marriage or that he doesn't think he loves me anymore. I rebuke each and every one of those clouded statements because the word of God says in Amos 9:11 God will restore David's tent. My marriage will be restored because my husband and I have a covenant with God. A covenant with God that we both messed up on at one time, but one that I have realized after messing up is worth more than anything. I want no generational curses to be left to my children nor do I want to give up trusting that God will restore us. Today is a new day and once again, I rose to meet and greet this day with a vigor to serve God and to love my family - including my husband, like Jesus would. That's all I can do is be the best me I can be and trust that all pieces of my life will fall into place according to God's great plan. So for today. I will love each and every one of my family as God wants me to and I will bless and not curse those who do not love me like Jesus would or would want them too. Today I'm still standing and I will never give up. Hallelujah!

Never Quit

Well, today is one of those funky days that is filled with hope, but always that hint of sadness comes over me like a fog that is just clear enough to see through, but dense enough to let you know it's there. I have been standing for my marriage restoration for 1 year and 4 months now, trusting that God will restore and knowing that he will move this mountain. Although I have that faith and that hope, there are those days when my husband says things - his favorite being that I know he doesn't care about me that I just get so sad because the hardness in his heart is letting him just miss out on the wonderful things that this life has for us to share. However, I am so grateful for Rejoice Marriage Ministries and Covenant Keepers and for the Word of God speaking in my life that I can at times, feel so disheartened and lost and alone, but a word of encouragement from the two marriage restoration ministries combined with the Word of God can give me the strength to carry on. I am grateful to be able to keep having the courage and strength it takes to stand against all odds and believe God to restore a spouse and a marriage. So for today, despite harsh words only sent out to hurt me, I will bless and not curse the man I have a covenant til death do we part with.