Being as I am sick and nausea has been my best friend for a few days, I was so very happy that in a moment of feeling well yesterday, I decided to do some of my homework assigned to me by my Life Advisor. I went and got a library card and checked some books out as well. I spent the whole day reading one of those books. God must have led me to it because I wasn't looking for anything in particular and this jumped out at me.
The book I read is called "Why I Stayed" written by Gayle Haggard, wife of Ted Haggard who was the senior pastor of the 14,000 member New Life Church and the highly regarded president of the National Association of Evangelicals. It was found out that Ted Haggard had a homosexual affair and was using illegal drugs, but Gayle Haggard stood by her husband.
This book - to me, displayed the love that Christ instills within us if we are truly serving Him and letting Him mold and make us. This book helped me calm the voice of Satan that was telling me I was stupid for having stood for my marriage to be restored for so long. Don't worry, I'm not standing for that anymore as I see clearly now that God wanted to restore something but that something was me.
I chose to love my husband like Jesus. I chose to trust God and told him that I would accept whatever He wanted, and even though it hurt, I followed Him and accepted His no. I choose now to realize that this woman's story ended differently from mine because her husband gave her the gift of repentance, and he chose, as she did, to heal their marriage. My husband did not choose those things. I am choosing to do what Jesus instructed me to to do, forgive and love.
So yes, I realize that I have entered a new way to love my soon to be ex (STBX), and I hope to do as good of a job at that as I did for standing for my marriage.
Today, I ask you to join me in prayer for marriages. Yes, we are all human and there are instances that we fall short, join me in praying that if this happens that both parties buckle down and choose to love. What a wonderful example of love this book was. I highly recommend it.
Hallelujah! Choose to love, it's worth it.
Yes I have felt at times that I was "stupid" for standing firm in my marriage for so long but when I get into that kind of thinking God quickly calms my heart and says, NO...it was his perfect timing for my kids to see steadfastness and unconditional love required in a marriage relationship. I thought for many years my husband was supposed to make me happy but learned in the end that I was to make God happy with my obedience to him. That is a lesson I am taking with me for my new relationship and a lesson I had to learn for any marriage to "work". I was definitely not happy in the end but I chose to love according to my vows anyway. Many people said I was crazy but I'm STILL doing it in how I choose to deal with him after the marriage was dissolved. It still takes Christ's love and the power of the Holy Spirit for me to give him courtesy and be kind. It never ends.
ReplyDeleteI guess I'm just lucky for now that mine is in Mexico finding himself. I hope he never tries to find his way back to me.
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