I love the Lord with all my heart, mind, soul and strength. I trust the Lord with this life of mine that He has entrusted to me. Even with this being a fact, there are times that I am overtaken by sheer panic of such great force that I don’t know what to do. I try and try to capture my thoughts and send my prayers of praise to the Lord all the while asking him to help calm me. It is in these moments I am so scared.
My mind races with thoughts such as: How am I going to make it financially if my husband leaves? Why can’t he let go and let love? Why isn’t God reaching down into my situation right now and helping me? What should I do? Where should I go? Why am I so alone? Why does my husband hate me? How am I going to raise my daughter on my own? Why is this happening as I have done everything within my power to be the best person God created me to be and it’s still not enough? Why am I not good enough?
Can you feel the panic with me? It’s horrible isn’t it. So, it is at times like these – and praise God they are few and far between, that I struggle to get myself back under control and in the safe comfort of knowing that God is in control and that he will carry me through. But then, there are times such as now that the hurt of it all still leaves me with a tingle of the panic. I get so mad at myself and even say I must not be doing Christianity right, but I am because I am human and am not perfect. I will be ok won’t I.
I think that is when I will turn to a song and what comes to mind right now is: Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine. Oh what a foretaste of Glory divine. Heir of salvation, purchase of God, born of His spirit, washed in His blood Perfect submission, all is at rest I in my Savior am happy and blest, This is my story, this is my song, Praising my Savior, all the day long; This is my story, this is my song, Praising my Savior, all the day long. Watching and waiting, looking above, Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.
So I will rest for now in blessed assurance until the panic comes to rest because this too shall pass. Today I ask for you to join me in prayer for all of us to fear not because the Lord is with us! And I will try to do just that. God Bless you. Halllelujah!
It's like you've been watching the tornado approach and now it's rocking you world. Hang on to the Lord tight and don't let go. There will be calm again. Promise. Someday soon I will write about my tornado dreams. Remember the worst that can happen in this life is you die and spend eternity in heaven. The best is yet to come for the faithful. And he wants to bless those who remain faithful in him.
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