Well, what can I say. Tonight, as I was preparing to leave the house for worship rehearsal, Spike (the dog) was just standing in the front room and went to shift his weight and all of a sudden started screaming in pain. I went down to the floor and just gathered him to me and began to pray and cry. This is the dog that just the other day I believed God would heal and I came home to a dog around 90% there. Needless to say, as I held him, I cried and was praying out loud that I knew this was just another attack on my life. Dang, Satan's really putting the pressure on.
As I held Spike close and prayed over him, I couldn't help but tell God that I trusted Him for healing and that I knew He was on the job. At the same time though, do I, I hate to say this, but do I need to face a different reality? I will not let my dog suffer. I have already spent some funds on this, but as I have said before, the x-rays are $359 and that is before any treatment is done, which will most likely exceed my Financial Peace Emergency fund as I am only on Baby Step 1. So now, I am stuck with the dilemma of what to do. I will start with praying and seeking God's answer.
After worship rehearsal, I was going to pick up my daughter and my phone rang. I did not recognize the number so I said "Hello, this is Dianne" some guy said "hey and then again, hey" kind of like he was my friend or something. I did not know who it was so I said "who is this?" the voice on the other end then said "Oh my God!" I then knew who it was, it was my STBX. He then proceeded to ask for our daughter, LIKE HELLO - call her phone or did you forget your kid's number, but I said no, she wasn't with me, he said something and I said goodbye.
You know, why would he call my phone, call me, out of the blue and act like a friend. He is not my friend. I would not keep a friend that treated me like dirt or told me all the time what a piece of crap I was and treated everybody better than me. Maybe I was wrong because I lied to him. he asked me to have my daughter call him and I told him we didn't have the Mexico calling anymore on my phone - we do, it's ending on the 15th, but darn it. He threw me off guard. He should have called my daughter's phone. No, I just figure it was Satan controlling him once again to mess with me.
I should not have lied. I am so not perfect yet, I was truly caught off guard. I even told somebody, maybe if I would go sin purposefully in some small way Satan would give me a break. He assured me Satan would only strike me harder. I know that. But darnit, hearing that voice - after I recognized whose it was, was not cool. Especially when I know that what he did to us was not necessary. He should have taken care of us, not taken from us and run us into the ground like we were so much less than him.
Well, trials are here, but I'm not going anywhere. I am standing with all I that I am. I will continue serving God with my finances. I will raise my daughter in a home where God reigns. I will pray for my dog and put him to sleep if necessary to not let him suffer needlessly or out of my selfishness for not wanting to let him go. I will continue to praise the Lord. Funny, when I wrote that, my heart actually smiled through my tears. Yes, I will praise the Lord. Take that Satan!
Today I ask you to join me in praising the Lord. Even in the midst of trials, let's praise our God who was and is and is to come.
Hallelujah!
No comments:
Post a Comment