Baby Xavier and Mammograms

I live on a main street and use public transportation to get to and from work downtown. One day in December while walking home from my bus stop I ran across a Christmas gift that must have fallen out of a vehicle that drove down the street. I brought the gift home wishing that I could reach its owners, but no, we don't seem to put contact information on gift tags do we. To Baby Xaver from Grandma and Grandpa the tag read. Well, inside the box was a nice baby blanket that I have kept on top of my bed since December.

I have been thinking that this gift is more valuable for baby Xavier than if he had it to curl up with because not a day goes by that I don't think of and pray for him. My heart hurts because I know how tight money is and how disappointed his grandparents were to find their gift missing, but if only I could tell them that their loss wasn't in vain.

Today I woke up thinking of baby Xavier, how old he might be, what he looks like, etc. Imagine my surprise when I went into my daughter's room, who I am sure has not thought of this baby since the day I found the gift, and while spending a moment with her while she prepared for school (furlough Friday for me) she told me, "Mommy, I know what I am going to name a son someday. I'm going to name him Xavier." At that moment, I began to think of God and how maybe he has me praying for baby Xavier now, to prepare me for having my own Xavier to pray for in the future. Funny God, isn't he amazing.

After being told by three people the other day at a Doctor's visit that I needed to get my mammogram done, I went and took care of business this morning. Praise God too, the walk in appointments start at 8:30 and I arrived at 8:15 and was brought in immediately and was out of there by 8:30. Anyway, this is only my second mammogram and my first was a big celebration to me of turning 40, a celebration that my husband shared with me as he joined me in the passage of a different era of womanhood. My heart was somewhat saddened as I did this event alone today. He should have been there with me. Not for any support or anything because they really are no big deal, but just to have been there. For me, love and life are a series of small celebrations and rituals. Just like I now have a ritual of celebrating baby Xavier's life and praying for him about daily, I wanted the ritual of always having my husband there at my side for all of my mammograms. Stupid I know, but I praise God that today I started on the path of doing things, not alone, but with my God, my husband for a season. After all, he promised I would never be alone didn't he.

Today I ask all of us to join in prayer for all the grandparents to know that there are others who pray for and care about their grandchildren. I ask us to join in praying for marriages everywhere, that couples never stop celebrating the small, unimportant things in life that really make life more fun and keep couples tied even more closely together. I miss those things, but God has promised that he will restore the years the locusts have stolen and that he will repair David's tent, so pray for me as well, as I begin this journey of having a new spouse and having to rely on myself and my God to carry me through the times I really shouldn't have to be alone.