Well, today I blew it, but I did the best I could to remedy my mess up. I thought somebody was picking on me and being the new, strong Dianne, I did as the bible said and "confronted my brother in private". Well, I was wrong and ended up having to apologize. Not cool on my part. But I learned something.
I have been under extreme pressure this last few days and have had to withstand quite a storm, something I am continuing to do, but something that, nonetheless has placed a bit of pressure on me. In the midst of this, I took something that was said to me COMPLETELY WRONG! I handled it wrong. The ways I handled it wrong were as follows. 1) I forgot to run my response through my "filter" of my friends. 2) I forgot to use my "I" statements, which would have completely avoided the other party feeling attacked. 3) It was pointed out to me by the other party that I took them off guard and should have talked to them prior to acting hastily. All of these three things were definitely my bad.
Well, I again proved to myself and to others, that I am so far from perfect. This made me feel badly with myself that I blew it so greatly. But in the moments that I felt like crap about my mistake, and yes, I even cried at my disappointment in me, I still had this fight in me that the original pressure I am dealing with as well as this new one, I am not going to give in. I am so glad that I serve such a redeeming God as well. How great it is when it shines so loud and clear that "He will give us no more than we can handle." Even though I still saw the glimmer of hope, I, for a moment felt almost hopeless. In that very moment, something came through to me that brought me to tears, once again (twice in a day, dang, I'm on a roll) in awe of how He really does give us no more than we can handle.
What an affirmation to keep on when we are given that break. Yes, even in the midst of one of my biggest of late screw ups and a really difficult life pressure, I was given a break. It's at those times that I can't help but sing "You Are Amazing" or "How Great Thou Art". Wow. Now, hopefully the other party will forgive me and realize that the good in me outweighs the bad as well as they will not harden their heart towards me, but that is completely up to them and only something I can hope for the best in those two matters. I am so not perfect, but at least I am learning along the way.
Today I ask you to join me in praising the Lord just for who He is. Let's thank him for the times he gives us the breaks we need to let us know that we are not hopeless and that we are on the right paths, even if we screw up.
Hallelujah!
learning is good. Jump back and keep going toward the Lord. that is all we can do.
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