As I was walking home from my bus stop today I was still assessing the fact that this feeling of just general unease has not left me completely. I was again trying to put my finger on it and realized what my problem is. I have not been being my normal Jesus freaky self. Yes, I have been living my life of prayer, but I have not been proclaiming it constantly like normal in my life and by that I mean walking around my house praying out loud with boldness. Walking down the street praying out loud with boldness. Taking my breaks to go pray with boldness. Yes, I am still praying, but I'm not being strong in it like normal.
Maybe I'm not one of those people who can do things softly and gently. Maybe I need to attack things and my prayer life is one of them. Especially when I am being attacked myself by things like fear, doubt, hopelessness or despair. I think one of the best compliments I have ever gotten was a few weeks back from my daughter when I was being the normal Dianne and she said from another room "Who are you talking to?" I was talking to God, like the normal Dianne does, loudly, boldly, with excitement and strength.
Tonight in my financial class I realized that sometimes we even gain strength from people we don't even know, from the hope we see rising up in their own situations. From the young couple that are following the suggestions of Dave Ramsey with "Gazelle intensity" to the woman about my age that is stepping out doing new things to change years of spending patterns. Wow - how exciting is it that I am seeing lives changed in front of my own eyes! Seeing this gave me hope in myself and my situation because I too am changing the way I have lived financially. Just as I fully expect great changes in my classmates lives, why shouldn't I expect them in mine?
Hope is so exciting. In class tonight one of the aspects that I found exciting is that even though maybe some of the principals I can't use right now, but possibly, God might place in my path somebody that I can inspire hope in, somebody who might just be feeling hopeless by showing them what I have learned. Maybe God wants us to acquire knowledge of things that might not affect us just so we can help others. This life is not all about us. It is about encouraging others, it is about delighting in the changes others are making in their lives, it is about hoping for better for not only ourselves, but for those around us.
Today I ask you to join me in prayer that even if we personally feel hopeless, that we look around and see the hope taking hold in others lives and that God show us the delight there is in that and that we can gain strength for ourselves while praying for others. God wants us to lift one another up and I thank God that just possibly hope is contagious because when you see it shining in others, it can certainly make you feel better about yourself and your situation as well.
Hallelujah!
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