If I were a quitter, I'd quit now...

But I'm not a quitter, so I'm still forging ahead to some prize in store. I just love the poem it's in the valleys I grow. I have taken that poem to heart. It seems to make the moments away from the mountaintops more understandable and more doable. I can do this.

My daughter is making some not so great choices. You know, maybe it would be more manageable for me to deal with if I didn't have to fight the fact that her father said frequently how she is going to turn out horribly because of the mere fact that I am her mother and what good can come of me. But you know, unless I can find a way to help my daughter want to make better choices, the truth of the matter is, she could turn out in a way less than desireable fashion. I get so mad at her because she has every opportunity now to make better choices. I get mad at her because she was always present when he said those things and why wouldn't she want to do better just to prove him wrong.

I won't lie, I start to doubt myself and think that maybe he is right. I can't think of what I am doing wrong in regards to her. I, at times, think that maybe when he comes back that maybe she should just go try it with him, maybe he would do a better job than me. This fact in itself makes me mad too. If it turned out like that then I would be even more inclined to believe that the bad guys do get all the good.

I don't do drugs 24/7, I don't drink alcohol to the point of being drunk, I don't drive with my daughter in the car when I am totally intoxicated, I don't say horrible things about people in front of her, I don't discard her when I want to do my own thing or only pay attention to her when it suite me. I'm still not seeming to make the grade though.

Guess what though, I'm not quitting. I am going to alter her world until she can decide for herself that she wants to do better. Maybe when her world gets a bit more stripped away and she becomes mine or my mother's American Express (never leaving home without her), maybe just maybe she will want to change her ways. I will pray over her (without her knowing of course) I will fight Satan in his most recent attack on me. Last week my dog and my mood, this week my kid and my mood. Nah, Satan, you suck, my God reigns and this valley is just that, a valley and I and my daughter will be "comin round" the mountain to get to that mountain top before you know it.

I see clearly that Satan wants to attack me even harder now. I am gaining financial control of my life God's way, I am serving God with all I am, I am starting my stop smoking class next week, picking up my prescription to give me the extra help I need on Tuesday and I am fighting to change my world for God's glory. I will make it and I will not quit.

Today I ask you to join me in prayer for all of us who are changing their worlds and fighting to become what God wants us to become. May none of us quit and may we each remember that the mountaintops are great, but its in the valleys we grow.

Hallelujah!