Well, we are in the new place. Yesterday was a bit hard at times, but also a bit easy at the same time. What a mixed bag of emotions the ending of dreams carries with it. You are so very sad at the promises that are unfulfilled, but so happy that the struggle is not ever present in your life. I guess that is a peace that is beginning to settle.
The dog is happy. The cat - well, who knows as she spends her whole time under my bed now - quiet until I want to go to sleep when she claws down under there where I can't reach her to pop her. My daughter though, is fine. Last night when we got our first opportunity to be alone we had one of our first quiet moments together.
We watched a movie and prayed together, both of us remembering her father in prayer. I think of him constantly and how I wish he were not choosing the path he is. I find it so sad that a person would choose alone rather than with their family. However, I am trying to capture every thought and when I think of him, I say a prayer for him in that moment and try not to let him stick on me in my thoughts. I want to be free to be happy and to be me. I do not want to be stuck worrying about him, although I will pray for him constantly, I release him to God's hands. That is all I can do.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
I know the difference. I can only control me, and that is going to be hard enough. My husband told me he needs time to "find himself" so he is leaving for Mexico August 19th. If only he had taken Life's Healing Choices in the fall he would know that - wherever he goes, he is going to be there...
In the meantime, I will be right here, in God's will striving to be the best me I can be for His glory.
Today I ask that we pray for all the lost people that don't know their way. I pray that God will find them right where they are and get them to look up because He is right there waiting.
Hallelujah!
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