Do you know how hard it is to get used to yourself, to living for something other than you have lived for for many years. It's hard. There are moments when it's all good. There are moments when it is so hard that you don't know what to do.
As part of my homework, my Life Advisor wants me to come up with 5 rewards for myself, with only two allowed to be food related. Do you know how hard this is for me. My rewards and fun used to be going for dinner or ice cream or a walk or whatever, with my husband. If any of you have any ideas of rewards that are cool to do on your own, please don't hesitate to let me know.I think part of my problem lies in that I don't really even know what I like anymore, but I need to give myself a break because another part of my homework is to work on figuring that out as well.
I am pleased to share with you that I am trying. I have always loved dancing and have made a new girlfriend at work that I ride the train with as well. She is a dancing guru and has invited me out to go dancing tomorrow. I - in turn have invited two other friends, so there will be about 6 of us going to this place, I think the name of it is The Ballroom. Tomorrow night, I will be learning and doing a dance called Soul Line Dancing. What a neat way for me to go out, have some fun doing something I love to do and still stay in the will of God.
The old Dianne in this situation might have gone and done something outside of God's will. This Dianne, the one washed white as snow, wants to stay that way until God's will for my life shines loud and clear. Now that I am out on my own, I was kind of hoping that God would let me let go of my husband in an instant. He hasn't. I sure hope that I can be patient until God shows me what's what in that area. I still love my husband. Still hate and don't want a divorce and still hope that God will reach him. At least I am praying on that. For now until God tells me otherwise.
Today I ask you to join me in prayer for healing. Healing for heartaches and for lost love. Healing for those who have thrown away people in their lives just because they were messed up. Healing for kids that get messed up because of these people.
God is still great and mighty to save. Hey, he saved me and I am white as snow and want to remain this way - that was actually a pretty big undertaking. But hey, I am going to be worth it, I already am.
Hallelujah!
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