Well, I won't lie and say that I am free just yet, but the hurt is starting to ease up just a little. I kind of felt a weight coming off my chest today. I am certain that without a doubt that this is coming because my Lord is with me. Yesterday when I blogged, I realized that as I wrote the words "I forgive him" I was actually in the process of doing just that.
I spoke with a woman today who told me that she was praying for God to remove me emotionally from the hurt so that I could pray for my husband's salvation for nothing else but for his salvation. I have begun to do that today after speaking with her and I began to feel a bit of an easing of the hurt.
God must see that NOTHING is going to take me out of His will (at least that is what I am striving for). I hope that I can stick to this, but I think I will be able to because as I blogged before, when you really live for the Lord, it starts getting ingrained in you and it becomes you. I am becoming what the Lord wants me to become and you know what, I should be because I am truly putting forth the effort and trying.
It is just like I am trying to get well. My Life Advisor has me tasked with writing, writing and more writing. Guess what, I'm doing it. Just like I want to live my life in the will of God to be able to fully receive what he is going to be showing and gifting to me, I want to be healed and whole. I will do what it takes to get better. I must, because who is going to do it for me? I truly think though, that each day striving to be the best I can be, doing my homework and writing, writing and writing some more, hanging in there, fighting the good fight, just might be working. Besides, looking back is just a dangerous way to live, I am looking forward to the goal of a blessed Dianne who is happy and loved and loves others just as Jesus would.
Today I ask you to join me in prayer for God to grant us all the gift of forgiveness. For each of us to ask Him to search our hearts for whatever it is that we are holding on to that keeps us from moving forward or keeps us weighted down.
Hallelujah!
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