Tonight I ask you to pray for me. Although I have been serving God through all of this, I guess that the stress got to me even though I was trying to trust Him through it all. I have a pretty bad staph infection and I believe that it was on its way to getting serious if not caught by a doctor today who prescribed me some strong antibiotics. Praise God, I should be getting well soon. Please pray that the medicines work, that the infection doesn't spread any more throughout my body and that the pain eases up a bit. If I could vote on which one you prayed the hardest for, it would be for the pain because let's just say "owie." It's hard enough to have a hard life situation come at you but combine that with being sick makes it just a tad bit harder. So, therefore join with me in rebuking this attack from Satan so I can stand tall for the glory of God. Amen.
Tonight I ask you to pray for my daughter. I know that - even though she won't talk about anything, that she is a victim of the stress as well. She's a great kid, but she's been kind of, well, you know a teenager under ugly family stress. Please pray for her to trust in God and trust in me that all will be well.
Tonight I ask you to pray for her father. He left for Mexico today to live or whatever, but when we went today to go get the last of our things as he told us we could do after he left it was the weirdest experience. This man left everything for his kids or whoever to go in and clean out. Taking a quick glance around I was somewhat astounded at how profoundly messed up he is right now. He is definitely not hearing the voice of God.
However, I was also extremely hurt when I ran across my daughter's fathers day gift to him sitting there in a pile. She had given him a probably 3 x 5 Dad photo frame containing two pictures of them together. This was definitely of the right size to be stuffed into any suitcase to be cherished, but there it sat in a pile. I was crushed, surprised and strengthened at the same time.
I ask you to pray for this man and pray around this man that God convict his heart to right his wrongs. That God deal with him and do so justly. That God protects others around him from more hurt being inflicted on unaware and innocent people. That God protects my daughter and myself from ever being hurt by him again.
His parting words to my daughter were that if she didn't call him two times a week, he wouldn't send child support. I'm leaving that one completely up to her. I think I will trust God to provide for us and if she chooses not to call him, that is her choice and we will make it without anything from him. I told him how dare he put the responsibility of maintaining their relationship on her back. And really, how dare he. God be with him.
I ask you to pray for me to be strong. The photo being left behind strengthened me in that I know for sure I really am the only parent my daughter can count on. I want to step up and be there for her in all circumstances. Maybe he doesn't care about her, but I do with all that I am.
Other than all of this, I must report to you that I am actually mentally getting a bit better. It seems that I am seeing a clearer picture of the person I have been trying to deal with and that God is strengthening my heart. I hope someday to not feel sad about all that's lost because I have gained so much. After all, My God has plans to prosper and not harm me, plans for hope and a future.
Hallelujah!
You have more strength than you realize and He is carrying you through this whether you realize it or not. When you look back you will see it clearly. For now. Hold on as I know you will. I am saying a prayer for your health right now. In my deepest, saddest times I got onto myself for not "trusting enough" and not having that peace I was supposed to have. But Ecc. says there is a time to mourn and a time to laugh. It's okay to be sad. It doesn't mean you are not trusting Him. Praying hard.
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