I walk past Pier 1 on my way to my bus stop and to home. The other morning I just couldn't help myself as a christmas pillow display on a couch in the window caught my eye. I swear it was winking and twinkling at me to get me to look. I stopped my quick walk and went to the window and just looked at that red pillow thinking of how beautiful it looked there. I honestly can't remember the last time something called me from a display in a window to look at it. For just a moment I just stood there and looked at that pillow wondering if I should find a way to buy it, what would I do with it and did I really even want it or was I just meant to take a moment of my life to stop, look at it and think how pretty it looked in that display.
I don't know why, but that darn pillow stuck in my head for the last few days. However, the pillow is now - I believe gone, because it looks as if all the others are still there, but that pretty red one is gone. Go figure, but hey, my Financial Peace University budget told me I couldn't have bought it anyways.
Well, today I blew it with my daughter. She has this new thing of trying to act like life is totally miserable and anybody who knows me knows that although things can be tough, life is anything but miserable for me. So, therefore, living with somebody who works so hard at keeping a straight, non-smiling face proves to be wearing on me at times and today I had a fit. An old familiar curse word even slip slided out of my mouth. Dang, Darn and shoot. I absolutely hate being bad. It makes me feel so uncool.
Well, one of the ways that I made myself feel better, besides repenting and apologizing, was to remember that Pier 1 pillow. It's gone. I came home from worship rehearsal and she is still here. We had bought some Oreo cookies today, (made me remember the fit I had in the store as "Have yourself a merry little christmas started playing. HELLO! IT'S TOO EARLY FOR THAT!), and agreed that we'd have milk and cookies when I got home. I decided I needed to be better when I got home. I came in, the normal happy me and shouted "Mama, you ready for some milk and cookies? Let's play a few games of Wii first." How cool, my kid smiled as we played. She acted goofy. She laughed at me as I made my cool moves.
Yes, my girl is way better than my Pier 1 pillow. I guess all in all, as hard as it is at times, I love my teenager and I am so glad that I still have her and I promise to keep realizing that she is just a teenager, part woman, part child and not have a fit again...for at least a few months. My teenager will grow up someday and someday I will look in that room and she's gone, just like my Pier 1 pillow, but with her, I plan on at least knowing where she went.
Today I ask you to join me in prayer for parents of teens that blow it. That they can make a comeback and fix the situation and rise above not being perfect. That they keep striving though.
Hallelujah!
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