Growing up Strong

Try as I might, I still don't get how my husband could just leave not only me, but especially my daughter and not even look back. I heard a sermon which spoke of hardening of the heart yesterday and I just don't want that condition for my daughter. I told her that I wanted her to call her dad. He left about 1 month ago and she has heard from him once and has not called him at all. She cracked me up when he asked her when she was going to call him again and she told him in her new favorite monotone, "When my mom makes me because she made me call you this time." Wow - she's got guts and she's honest.

I spent a moment thinking of how that must have crunched him and how it should have if he had the heart to care. I guess my biggest struggle is that he just really doesn't care, about me or even her.

Last week in church, pastor hit the nail on the head when he spoke of narcissists. This was the first time I heard this type of person described. I looked up the word when I got home and this is what I came up with.

Narcissism:
Noun: inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity

psychoanalysis: being a normal condition at the infantile level of personality development

Wow, that really describes what we were dealing with, now I just need to figure out how we get over it. I spoke with my daughter about what she had said to him and she said to me, "look, he didn't care anything about us to just leave us, I don't care anything about him."

I hope that he hard heartedness does not hurt her later, but I understand. I hope and I pray that he stays in Mexico and leaves us be. We are healing and I want us to both be so strong in God's grace and glory that we are untouchable to be hurt by him again. I do think that that will take a little time, so I hope that whatever he's running from doesn't catch up to him very soon so we can have the time we need to grow in the Lord.

Today I ask you to join me in prayer to pray for those of us who don't see what we should be, that others have the strength if they see it to point it out to us. I ask you to pray for my daughter that the fine line between hardness of heart and self preservation lean on the side of God's desire and do not become a hatred. That she grow up strong and stay strong, but also have the love of the Lord in her heart.

Hallelujah!