Reign down on me, reign down on me, here in your presence I am free... That song is ringing in my head. I want to be free. I want to belong. I don't know where I belong anymore. I feel so very lost.
I am so grateful for all the blessings God has been pouring out on me. I am so very grateful. I just feel so lost though because He is taking me somewhere where I wish I didn't have to go. My head and my heart keep screaming "I want to go home!" Home to where my husband looked at me and loved me home to where I felt safe.
I ask you to please pray for me that I find the strength inside of me to feel safe right where I am, in the will of God. The will of God will never take me where the grace of God won't protect me. I KNOW THIS STUFF! I feel as if I am drowning in hurt though. Sometimes I feel as if I am doing this christianity thing wrong, but then I remember who I am. I am me and God made me perfect and whole and beautiful in his sight. I am doing it just right and maybe God is letting me feel this hurt, this forlorn and lost because he has a perfect home waiting just for me. I just hope that I find some of that here on this earth because how sad to think that I won't.
Please pray for me. I don't feel like asking you to pray for the world today. I ask you to pray for me. Pray that I trust God in the midst of this. That I am able to get through this fog of deep hurt and sadness and come out on the other side shining for His Glory. Just please pray that I remember that by staying in his will, he will never take me where his grace won't protect me. Pray that I come to a place where I am not lost, but found.
Hallelujah!
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