Maybe there are times that we need to fall apart to be rebuilt. I think last night I cried harder than I ever have in my whole life. The finality of following God and the crueler than anybody should ever have to experience words of my husband really threw me for a loop. However, even in the midst of that pain, I just knew and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has great things in store for my daughter and for myself.
We are moving near my daughter's school as I said yesterday. Both my daughter and I are excited because her grades will have no excuse to be bad because she can utilize after school tutoring and programs if she ever has any difficulty in a subject. We are excited because she can visit with friends. Today my husband said to her that it was a bad idea that she is moving close to the school because all she is going to do is party. Oh my gosh, he really doesn't know this girl. She is a treasure and she is - although worldly, an innocent as well and a really good, honest girl. I will be so glad to get her away from here because he truly has no idea of how his words cut. I refuse to let him speak death over my daughter. I speak life over her now. I am certain, that although I know she feels some confusion over the situation, that she has no idea either of how immune we have become to his foulness. I will work extra hard on me to fill her life with good things and good words. I will strive to only have uplifting words come from my mouth, even in times of anger I am going to watch what I say. I vow that in the moments that I slip, I will be convicted within minutes and will apologize and will repent and ask for strength to not slip again.
I am claiming right here and now that I will fill her up with goodness and she will get over and forget what we have had to live with this past year. I am claiming healing over both of us. I look forward to this healing and I look forward to those of you that know us, especially her, to let me know when you start to see it shining through us. Please don't forget to do that if you see it in us. Sometimes it takes for others to notice things because you are too close to see. The precious healing of our Mighty Saviour, bring it on Lord. We are ready. We have fallen apart and are so ready for your wholeness.
Today I ask you to pray that those that have been as hurt, as my daughter and I, have will find the healing that God promises. I ask you to pray for those that inflict the hurt, that God will find a way to roar into their lives and stop them from hurting anymore. That he will - as Joyce Meyer said recently, deal with them. I ask you to pray that my husband has no power over me to hurt me like he did last night ever again.
PS Praise Report: Today I sent in my legally required 30 day notice to the apartment I currently share with my husband and they called to tell me that I wasn't on the lease. Praise God for that because I am out on the 6th and this fact is completely either their error or a blessing from God because I filled out the lease, was on it but now I am released from any of the liability that my husband might leave behind. The 30 day notice would have kept me liable til the 22nd of August, but now I am just free to go. God is holding nothing back from getting me out of here to start our new life and I am in awe of him. I look forward to being the Lord's Humpty Dumpty.
Hallelujah!
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