I've been used

I just realized entirely how used I have been. My husband has taken and taken and I allowed him. How did I not respect myself enough to not see this when I was going through it? It has taken for me to have nothing left to give him that I see how he has really not given to me. I think that the fact that I am a woman, and a mother, that I always made sure we had what we needed. Selfish self-centerdness is his core. I will give no more.

I am a member of Covenant Keepers International and was told today by the leader of my group that I should not move right now - let's call her P. My husband is going to Mexico and while he is there I believe he will be attending a 3-day christian convention with his sister. Well P feels that God is going to make a mighty move in my husband's life and I should wait for him to return.

I feel that she is wrong. God has just about placed all of the blessings to make my move possible in my lap. I have been the recipient of probably 3 miracles in the past month. I have been following the will of God, even under great stress. I am a servant of our Lord and live a life of prayer, always seeking to do his will. My one constant sin is that I have not quit smoking. I occasionally when really pushed might let a curse word slip, but I repent almost instantly. No, P is wrong. God does not want me to stay here. God has not told me to stop standing for my husband, but he has definitely told me to care enough about me and my daughter to get out of hell on earth.

I am pregnant with God's nature and God has spoken loudly and clearly to me. God's promises will come true in my life. Bible says, "Love your neighbor as yourself". It's time that I love me enough to not be used anymore. One of these days, God will deal with him and I hope that he does so justly. Enough said.

Today I ask you to join me in prayer that we all love ourselves enough to take care of the treasure that we are. God loves us and expects us to love ourselves.

Hallelujah!