For New Year's Eve this year, I felt this surge of freedom from the oppression of the many New Year's past and wanted to Party! I had options of a christian dance, an evening at a home with a friend, but I wanted to go out and planned fully on drinking to excess and welcoming the New Year with Mr. or Mrs. Hangover being my good morning friend. I arranged for a designated driver and friends to go out with and was all set. I just feel so free and although I feel free in God's goodness, for some reason, I just wanted to be wordly and break out because for whatever whacky reason, I just felt like it would make up for all the times in years past that I did not get to do anything I wanted to do. It was nice to get out and I truly did have a wonderful time and really don't wish to have made any other choice of what I did.
However, and this is a biggie, I don't like how my choice to actively go against what I know God wants for me did to my relationship with Him. This choice of mine to knowingly sin separated me from God. It made me feel like a hypocrite, and just plain bad and truly hindered my relationship with Him. I am certain that God loved me just as much as He always does and that nothing about Him changed towards me, but I know just as well that I changed and was not able to be my "normal" self with Him, so therefore, I am going to try to not do that again. Has that ever happened to you? Well, then you know what I am talking about.
Well, Happy New Year! Although I haven't really done resolutions in a while, I decided that since this new Dianne Rene'e has been so good at perservering through so much, I might as well make a few resolutions this year. I am vowing to try to remember when I want to yell at my daughter to stop, breathe and whisper instead. I am vowing to eat more fruits and vegetables. In fact, my church is beginning a 21 day fast this next Monday and I think that God is calling me to really begin to make my self discipline even stronger in my Insanity exercise program as well as in my quest to run that half marathon in March. I am looking forward to see what it is I can do. I remember last year's Daniel Fast. I gave up Dairy and meats however unfortunately, I only made it 14 days, but I am certain that that was just preparation for what the new Dianne Rene'e is going to do this year. I just can't wait to feel the strength and empowerment that will be there waiting for me at the end of the 21 days of whatever it is that God leads me to do.
Our church is facing some financial issues that are pressing. Today there was a meeting held by the church that informed those who attended what we are really facing in our budget and financial future. Yes, the issues are pressing, but what a pleasure to be facing these issues with my church members. Sitting there listening to the speakers speak, I looked around and felt so united with the people there in that room and I love those people. It was wonderful to see one of our sweet, calmer and more reserved members speak out how what an opportunity it is for us to trust God. I can't think of a more wonderful group of people to trust God with. I love my church and I love the people in it. I look forward to this fast to see what changes God is going to do in our church because I am certain that the other members as well will be fasting not only for personal reasons with God, but as an opportunity to beseech our God on behalf of our church. I love looking forward to the promises God has in store.
Today join me in prayer that we each realize how our own sin separates us from God and we each realize that we don't want that separation and that we can make better choices. That if we do find ourself separated because of our choices, we don't give up and quit, but instead choose to confess our sin and ask God to help make us stronger in our next choices. That we possibly feel strong enough to maybe make even just one New Year's resolution to be a better person all for the glory of God.
Hallelujah!
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