A Prisoner of Hope

Today as I was listening to my morning sermon by my "other Pastor", he spoke of something that caught my heart. I am on day 5 of a 21 day fast and am doing a full out Daniel fast with the only moderation to it being I am drinking that a Slim Fast for breakfast each day. Because I have been feeling crunchy as of lately, I selected something to seek God for, but have specifically asked for Him to surprise me by showing me what He wants me to see during this time. I was pleasantly surprised and gave Him all the glory two days ago when He brought something to the forefront that I needed to see. Today, God confirmed that He had been speaking to my heart the other day when I heard this morning's sermon.

The messages this week have revolved around the blood of Jesus and what that blood means in our lives. The pastor spoke on Zachariah 9:12 today and told of how we can become prisoners of hope. I realized I have been such a prisoner, and I have been one for too long. I am constantly amazed at how God, when we listen to him really does have so much to share with us. I have just felt kind of crunchy this past few days, but the cool thing is, Praise God, I have learned to not go by how I feel, but to instead, continue on in what I know. I know God loves me no matter what. I know that He has my back and I know that I am to never give up.

Sometimes this life hurts and although I don't fully grasp how God can turn ashes into beauty, I do see that He does just that. I won't lie though, it is not a fun process and I am not enjoying all the molding He is doing in my life, but the truth of the matter is is this is what it is and I have to go through all of this anyways, so why not give it all to him and let him. I guess it really does make sense to "let go and let God." I'm doing just that, even if I don't feel like it.

That's where the funky hope comes in darnit. I still have this little glimmer of hope, even though I know it's not what God wants for me that I don't have to be molded and made into something I never thought I'd have to be. However, there is a new hope. A hope that is becoming a reality and one that won't imprison me in it. A hope that has more freedom and light than I can really even begin to grasp at this moment. I hope that is real and will come true.

I am grateful to God that He is speaking to me in this fast. I am grateful to Him for this newfound hope and that He is replacing a falsely placed hope with hope in Him. I remember a woman who spoke at my church recently who had been deeply hurt and abandoned by her husband and before she was able to begin to receive healing, she found herself in a treatment facility looking out the window, as she had done for many days and realized that her husband was not going to come "rescue" her. That was a huge hurt for her, a breaking point, but also a breakthrough. I think I have had a breakthrough and it hurts, but right here in the midst of it, I know that it is a beginning, a new starting point. Now the hope of healing, real healing can begin to take the place of that false hope. After all, that is my goal, to heal and to no longer be a prisoner of hope.

Today, join with me in praising God that there are people brave enough to share what they have been through so as to help others heal. Join with me in praising God for breakthroughs that give us correctly placed hope. Join with me in praising God that when we come to these breakthroughs we realize that we must continue on, no matter how we feel because tomorrow is another day and we walk by faith.

Hallelujah!