God is so totally great and amazing. In hindsight, I think I set one of the best examples for my daughter yesterday that I could have possibly done. One without even trying. I woke up yesterday morning and don't know what was going on, but I woke up feeling as if God was trying to tell me something about my whatever. I felt this calmness speaking to me and woke up praying for my whatever.
I proceeded to go to the river with a friend and my dog for a nice walk and followed it with a nice breakfast out - totally adhering to my Daniel fast with a bowl of oatmeal to included berries and nuts and raisins. It was great. Anyways, I came home and as usual, a tinge of sadness came with me that it was Whatever that I spent that good morning with. However, I brushed it aside and then the unthinkable happened. Whatever called me. I melted afterwards and fell apart.
Well, I went into my room where my daughter was and was crying, stating that this is not what God wanted, for everything to fall to me, for families to fall apart, etc, but the whole time I'm crying I am changing clothes into my running clothes and as I am still wiping the tears away, I am saying I am going to go for a run to get all of this "crap" out of me and run I did. I came back from that run, no longer crying, and went on with what turned out to be a great day. All pretty much because I chose to not stay in that frame of mind. What a great example I set without even trying. I followed it up this morning as I told her that when she has bad days or bad moments, she doesn't have to let them stick. She can do something like I did to get herself out of of them and can always remember that the moment may suck, but she will be ok and tomorrows are always brand new days.
You know, I have received three huge blessings since yesterday that I am still praising God for and above all, I am praising Him for the fact that I am certain these blessings came because even if I don't always walk a perfect walk, I try constantly to stay on the straight and narrow. Two of those blessings are in relation to my daughter and one of them, a biggie is all about me. God has showed me that I am ok and that I am on the right path. Dang, made me feel like a million bucks. I guess He really does have plans to prosper and not harm us.
This Daniel fast has been so very good for me. Oh my gosh though, I just can't wait til the moment that I can bite into a McDonald's cheeseburger loaded with french fries. What heaven on Earth that will be for me. I won't lie and say I haven't thought of eating that burger now, but I know, that if I wait for the legitimate end to my fast, that thing that taunts me in my dreams - that cheeseburger, will be enjoyed so very much more. The other night, I was so ready to give into that call and found myself covering that non call of God with prayer and guess what, it worked.
Today as I rode home on my bus this man was questioning me about my church and my faith, stating that he wants some of what I have, a happiness he says he sees in me. He asked me what do I do about all the "evil people". "Don't you just want to fight evil with evil?" I said no, I wanted to let the light of Jesus shine through me and love them like Jesus and fight evil with love. That man wants to visit my church.
I love God. I love what He is doing through me and how much He is showing me he loves me - even if I, for just a split second, was thinking of joining the world on that not so long ago New Year's eve and how just the thoughts of sinning really did somewhat separate me from God. God must see me though that I don't want to be separated from Him and that no matter what it takes, I know what I need to do to stay close to Him. I turned on the Sirius music channel the other morning and the song that came on spoke of everything we need to remember: It's a slow fade, when you give yourself away. It's a slow fade, when black and white turn to grey when thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid when you give yourself away. People never crumble in a day. So be careful little eyes what you see. For the father up above is looking down in love, so be carely little eyes what you see. I don't want to fade, hopefully you don't either.
Today I ask you to join me in prayer that we always remember who we are in Christ. That nothing needs to keep us down. That if we get down we remember that we can turn the situation around. That we set a good example to somebody who maybe will remember us someday and what we did in a situation and how we picked ourselves up and dusted ourselves off, even if we cried while we did it.
Hallelujah!
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