Taking Charge of Me - Resting in His Peace

The weirdest thing has happened to me. I am resting in God's peace. I am coming full circle to understanding His ways. I am letting Him be full in me.

I can't tell you how grateful I am to have had such a wonderful "Celebration of Life" birthday party. I have had people apologize for not having been there and for all of those people it's ok. Those that were there are the exact people I would have hand-selected had I been doing that. My mother said today that she was still on a high at how wonderful the crowd was and remarked at how much she saw that they loved me. Guess what, each and every person there was so special to me and I love each and every one of them in return. I had to smile as the DJ said to me "I like your people". I like them too.

There is a very real possibility that I am facing a layoff in the near future. I am not afraid. Instead, I just feel this real hope to encourage others to not be afraid as well. There are 124 positions that will be gone where I work now, although mine is not "earmarked" for cutting, seniority of others can very likely "bump" me. I'm not worried about me, I'm only hoping to show others that they don't have to be afraid either. I have shared about the birds - how they don't worry about what they are going to eat tomorrow, and how if God loves the birds how much more He loves us. I am not sharing something I don't believe, I am sharing what I know to be true. I mean what's the worst that could happen? Armed with Financial Peace University techniques and the promises of God, all I can do is pray for others and trust that I can help convey to them to trust as well.

I am finally getting how to be a wonderful mother. I have learned how to set wonderful limits and am gaining a trust and a respect from my daughter in doing so. Gosh, it has only taken me raising three boys and now my daughter to finally get it. I am putting into practice to pray for and love those that have hurt me while putting into practice that I don't have to put myself out there to be hurt by those again. Example... I was truly wronged last week by someone and the thing that broke my heart was looking at the situation through their eyes and understanding where they were coming from based on their past experiences. I knew why they were behaving as they were and I prayed for them and meant it. I won't lie and say I didn't get angered at first, but I am still kind of amazed at how even during my anger I was praying for them.

My pastor said a few words at my party this weekend and I was amazed to see that the story he told was about dead on for what I wanted to share. What I wanted to share was how we need to stand up and choose to be better and work on healing ourselves in the areas we need to do so. We must self assess and be real with ourselves. I am not blind. I see my weaknesses, but it's time that I also allow myself to see my goodness. I have not been passive in my healing. The best words ever told to me were from my friend (PZ) who told me that God was telling her to tell me something - no more whining. I quit whining and decided right then and there I wanted to get well. I don't want to live my life hurting over what was lost, hurting over the troubles in life. I want to live my life in the fullness of His joy.

I found it interesting that today's sermon (Changing Your World) was about letting peace rule in your life as that is something that God has been revealing to me this past few weeks. Letting peace rule involves choosing to not get agitated by the circumstances of this life. It involves not trying to keep up with the Joneses, but to be happy with what and who you are. I love my life. Along with this revelation, I have been praying for everything and everyone. I want to share with others that these are not my ways that are working in my life. These are the ways of God. I love our Lord with all that I am and I know that He is going to provide me and my girl with what we need. It may at times seem like we don't care if we don't get bothered by things, but I feel as if I do care even more than if I outwardly show signs of being upset because at those times, I am praying harder than I ever have before.

Today I ask you to join me in prayer that we lift up those around us in prayer, that we don't let ourselves get agitated by the circumstances of this world but we trust that all will work out. Please pray specifically for the people of my workplace that are going to be laid off that maybe, just maybe I can show even a handful of them to not worry and to rest in the fact that, yes, things might be difficult for a moment, but that we can take charge and rest in His peace.

Hallelujah!