No Going Back and Payday Bars

Somebody recently referred to me as a Payday bar. You know, kind of nutty yet sweet. In my mind - the Payday bar was always the candy bar that you only ate when there were no other choices. Kind of reminds me of how my - let's just call him my whatever, used to tell me that nobody else would be stupid enough to want to love me enough to be with me for any length of time. That he was the only one stupid enough to ever have married me. I don't care.

You know, this life is a fragile road that we walk on. A series of choices, some good and some bad. I was feeling kind of funky due to some funky stuff going on, but I am still choosing to serve God. However, I was thinking. I so wanted to smoke tonight and that just made my mind wander to what if I just stopped. I stopped serving God. I stopped trying to be a non-smoker or to be drug free. I stopped trying to be a good mom. I stopped going to church. I stopped singing on the worship team at church. I stopped trying to make the world a better place by smiling at people I meet or I stopped praying for those in need. What if I just stopped?

I deciphered each thought one by one and totally came to the conclusion that I can't go back to those places I was before I got to where I am now. It seems that everything about me lately has become a quest to persevere and to be consistent in all I do. I so believe that if I hang in there and get through all the hurdles set before me, that I will reach this place of more than I ever expected. More blessed than I ever asked for. So, as much as that cigarette was being craved today, I can't go back to what and where I used to be - in any of my old formats. I am a new creation in Christ and I am more than a Payday bar, no matter what I was told.

Today I ask you to join me in praising God that we have places that we can't go back to in life. That we are so much more than we used to be and that we have a God who loves us so much that he helps us to realize that we don't want to go back.

Hallelujah!!