Redwood Trees

I remember hearing somewhere that redwood trees grow best in a community as they support one another by their root system intertwining beneath the ground which is kind of like us joining arms (I always remember Red Rover Red Rover, send ____ right over). Sometimes it was very hard to break through those interlocked arms. For two days I have been thinking of redwood trees because I have been realizing that we are all so very important to one another.

Today for me is a good day. I had worship team rehearsal last night which I so needed. I just felt all day yesterday that I needed to shout to the Lord and it turned out that joining my voice with my worship team family took that shout out of me as singing to the Lord is such a powerful form of worship for me. Hallelujah!

I ran into a friend in the bathroom at work. She has been going through some things and I saw and felt her hurt. I thought of the redwood trees. She has helped me feel better when I was hurting, just by being there. I hope I did the same for her.

I think of my new friend Livvie. (I shared her blog with you once). One who was standing for her marriage, but has had to move to a different place in life and I marvel at the words she wrote “I certainly feel victory over the pain now.“ I am so happy for Livvie because I know where she has been and am enjoying hearing about where she is going.

I think of the redwood trees. Of the calm, cool presence of standing beside one another. Livvie, I completely believe that God never wastes a hurt as look how much you have helped me. I am grateful to have you in my grove.

Today my prayer request is that we are like those redwood trees, hard to knock over in a group, and like those interlocked arms, hard to get past. Let’s continue to stand for one another and meet each other where the other needs to be met.

Let’s keep looking for this day “The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you.” Romans 16:20. And let's help each other to remember that his grace is always with us.

I Don't Live in a Dream

One of my favorite songs by one of my favorite singers, Jackie Greene, says the following:

I don’t live in a dream. I don’t live in a dream. I don’t live in some land forgotten; I don’t live in a dream.

Today – as I was riding the bus to work I saw a huge billboard advertising beer that said something to the effect of Welcome to and Enjoy Hell – like hell was a great place to be because of this beer. I felt anger, not just at this billboard, but at Satan. So very angry because how is it that we come to a point in the human race where blatant wrong and sin is so very ok and acceptable.

Recently, a new show was set to start on television “Parenthood” it is called. I was very excited because the trailers for the show seemed to hit some real points of life. However, as I sat down to watch the season opener; I decided then and there that I could not watch this show. One of the female stars of the show had divorced, moved back to her old home town to live with her parents, taking her teenage daughter with her. She got back into town, had one date with an old high school boyfriend and was having sex in the next scene.

Mind you, I am by no means a prude as I have been there and done that. However, I am trying to stand for what is right in this world and to be a better me and to help young girls behind me, mainly my daughter avoid lessening what they could be by “going to and enjoying Hell”.

Our church’s youth pastor and his wife – I think they are both 25 just had their third daughter. Their first daughter has Down’s Syndrome and is, I believe just turned three years old, their second is one and their third, just born, probably is 4 weeks old, born about 2 weeks prematurely. Well, she was admitted to the hospital the night before last with pneumonia and yesterday was discovered to have Pertussis (whooping cough) as well.

Another family in our church announced on Facebook yesterday that they might have to move out of the area due to things just being so hard here and not being able to get on their feet. I’m guessing they have family elsewhere that can help out or lend a hand up while they get going as they just got married in February and are a blended family trying to get started.

I think this is what started me on my so mad at Satan moment today. Darn it, the youth pastor and his wife serve our youth so well with a vigor and a love that is bold. This other couple just started being a presence in our church and we have fallen in love with them – I know I have. Why is Satan allowed to make his statement of opposition to good so loud and clear? Why do I have to ride the bus to work and see invitations to go to hell as a great place to be going? Why is sex outside of marriage shown so freely and blatantly on television? Why are good people who are trying to make a difference in this world always having to fight so fiercely the opposition of Satan?

My prayer request today, please join me, is that Satan not be given this free hand by us Christians. That we join in and pray for this world, for our people, for this youth pastor and his family, for this newly married couple. That Christ will rise up in all of us to fight against Satan having his way. That maybe, just maybe I can ride a bus and see a billboard that shows a picture of Jesus proclaiming “I am the Light of the World Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."

After all, I don’t live in a dream.

I'm BAAACCCCKKKK!!

Ok, I'm sort of back. I guess I lied to you in saying that I would only not blog when I was completely unable to get to a computer. I forgot about being on death's door, sicker than a dog moments. Well, I have been just that sick. So, did you miss me?

It hit me out of nowhere that I was straight out sick at 2 in the morning on Friday. I rode all the way to work on the bus only to turn around and catch the train without even stepping into work. My husband came home sick shortly after I got home and sick is what we stayed the entire weekend, not even taking a break from being sick. At 2 in the morning on Saturday I woke up, knowing I was burning up and began to just plain laugh because I got my Flu shot, my H1N1 shot, but this was way beyond any cold.

Which led me to think that no matter the precautionary measures we may take in this world, life still finds a way to happen. I hope that each of you has covered themselves with the precious blood of our Lord and Savior. Because my friends, life happens. Never waste a minute of it and know that if life happened to you, you'd be going to a wonderful place.

Stand for Me

I went to work today - got downtown and caught the light rail right back home. I'm sick and I am going to let myself be sick today because I want to be better tomorrow. Woke up at two in the morning, but thought I'd give it a shot and the shot just didn't work out. Anyways..

I have been pondering the wonderful words of my new posting friend Livvy - words that I shared with you yesterday - and in doing so, God has spoken to my heart. The time for me to give up on my stand is not at this time, but now is the time for something else for me to do. I need to stand for me. I am, after all a valuable, precious commodity. I am a relentless woman of Christ. One who stands for something. For the right in this world rather than the wrong. Yes, I need to stand for me and I need to let things happen as God would want them to happen and not get hurt or worry or sad because GOD IS IN CONTROL!

I acknowledged just last week that I really realized I have given my life to the Lord. Just this week, God has worked through me in some amazing ways. But no, now is not the time for me to quit standing, just a time for me to stand for me. I will tell you the truth in that I came to this acknowledgement even before I got home from work yesterday, I think it was on a bus ride home and when I got home, faced with the normalcy of what I knew was there, I had a certain peace when I got in the house and I think, just maybe it showed because I stood for me and for one of the first times in a long time, my husband actually seemed like he cared about what mattered to me.

But, don't worry, I know the the adage - Expectation of man is breeding grounds for disappointment. Expectation of God is breeding grounds for miracles. I myself and going for the miracle.

Friends

Today is a day for me to really think about something. You all know that I am not a quitter, but I would love to share with you a response I got from someone who was standing and finally let go and let God. When I responded to this response she sent me, I thanked her for sharing "Our Story". I wanted to share with you.

Please give me your input, but today my prayer request is that we all let go and let God and not "try" too hard at anything. I love you all.

Please hang in there for this read, I know it is long, but any of you who know and care about me can soak it up as I go on this journey of mine.

Never say never
April 22, 2010 by Livvy Ospry

I got a comment on my About page by a woman who wanted to know this:

At what point did you KNOW that there would be no more reconciliation and how did you know how to quit. And approximately how long till the heartache ends once the quitting has started.

Dianne,

I wish I could tell you there was a moment when I knew. But for me it was more like the unveiling of truth over time. I did not want to accept it, I wanted my husband to come home. But he had different plans and he didn’t care what I wanted. Not anymore. I sat and prayed and cried for months while he went off and did exactly what he wanted to do. No matter how strong my faith was in the Lord I knew my husband had a free will of his own and God would not force him to come back. I knew that God hates divorce but his number one priority is always our spiritual health and I began to understand that maybe I was better off spiritually with my husband gone. He had not treated me like a wife for over a year in any way. He gave not one hint that he would ever even consider coming back. I had to accept reality instead of the idea that I could save him. It wasn’t up to me.

As soon as I let him go emotionally and mentally I began to heal. Little by little. It’s been about 8 months since I started to heal and I’d say I’m about 90% there. Up until that time I left myself very open to get stomped on by him. I let him know I would never give up on him, told him all the things I thought were worth it and highlighted his strengths. But he had already moved on months if not years before. I was treating him like a husband because that was MY reality. But he was not acting like one. He had broken his vows AND left me for months. And at one point I found myself realizing that whatever hope I was clinging to was wrong in two ways.

One is that we should always pray like Jesus did in that we can plead our case but ultimately honor God as the sovereign authority in our lives and trust that whatever he allows in our lives will be best for us. I had been praying for my husband to come back. Period. I knew that God hated divorce and I wanted him home. It was the only acceptable result. I didn’t let myself think about if God is who he says he is. And if God is outside space and time then he already knows if my husband’s hardened heart would soften. If God knew he would never willingly want to be married to me again in a way that would honor Him…maybe just maybe God would allow him to leave for good because God wanted more for me than that? I needed to accept everything that God allowed in my life as His will for my life. And I had been shaking my head saying..”No, no no…God hates divorce.” And I could not see passed that.

And two, letting go did not mean quitting or giving up. Since he had already left and I had done everything in my power to please him before leaving and was patient with him after he left, I knew that my conscience was clear. I was not the one who gave up. I was the faithful partner sticking it out until the end. And I would have done anything to save my marriage. But you can’t save anything alone. Especially a marriage. If the other person is already gone, you can’t save them either. They are their own person and they are adults and you can love them but you can’t force them to accept it. It’s I’m sure the same kind of heartache that God has when one of his children walks away. But you have to let them go. I still pray for my husband, for his heart and his spiritual well-being but I don’t pray for him to come back.

Having said that the state of your heart is paramount in healing afterwards. Know that you are right where God wants you to be. No where else. You wouldn’t be where you are if it was not God’s will because he takes everything…EVERYTHING and works it together for good to the people who love him and are called to his purpose. He doesn’t promise that to backsliders or people not in the faith. It is a promise to those who love God.

But here is the tricky part. And this is where the Holy Spirit comes in. You have to also be willing to accept whatever else happens. Your husband could decide to come back into the marriage, he could decide to go off and have a complete and total mid-life crisis and do a bunch of things that don’t seem like his character at all. You could be alone and single for a long time and get involved in even more at church and in your community, have lots of friends and a vibrant wonderful life. Or you could find someone new. The trick is to just let it happen as it happens. Don’t force any of it.

Redefining yourself comes through baby steps taken in the real world which takes time not by deciding a new life manifesto. I think a lot of times people determine what their next years will be like and then they are closed off to other possibilities. I wanted to so desperately do what God wanted for me instead of what I wanted for me. I wanted to be open to the Lords leading in everything. What I did with my free time, who I hung out with, how I parented my kids through the mine field of divorce and how I treated my ex.

And finally, giving up on a person is not the same as giving up on God. And I think I thought I did not have that choice. God is worthy of our dedication and honor and commitment. But people will often let you down. God has set up a definition of marriage and its importance but He’s also given guidelines for divorce. And He has done so I’m sure because He loves us. I did not want to quit. I DIDN’T! What I did was accept reality. He wants what is best for us. And if you are close to Him, reading your Scripture, in daily communion with God through prayer; you will know when the right time to let go is or not. You will know when it’s time to move on with picking up the pieces of your life and seeing the GOOD of what lies before you instead of the pain of what lies behind.

I had a friend of mine tell me that God not only hates divorce but he also hates sin. And if my husband was in open rebellion and an instrument of sin in my household, why wouldn’t God want him removed. She said, that God sees your heart and wants to use you for something and you might be in your obstinance getting in the way of that and prolonging your pain. Looking back now, that was a huge day for me. And if I had not listened to her advice I might not have met Martin. And God brought him into my life at just the right moment to change my story. I KNOW God used me in his life and now many other people’s lives have been effected as a result.

I have learned that what God wants for me is far better than what I cling to and want for myself. If God allows it, He will see us through it. And I am a testimony to that. It was the hardest year and a half of my life. At times I had to lean on God completely for strength because I had nothing left.

But maybe and I say this somewhat facetiously because I know in fact that this is what God was doing. Maybe God had a work he wanted to do in me too. Maybe he wanted me to let go and trust Him more completely. And maybe I had to go through a lot of heartache just because I simply was not willing to do that because I thought I had it all figured out and was working toward that goal instead of being open to something else.

My goal now is to hold onto things more loosely, to see everything as a gift and not a possession. And to understand it is a blessing and should be enjoyed completely but not coveted.

“Hold everything in your hands lightly, otherwise it hurts when God pries your fingers open.”
— Corrie Ten Boom

Dianne – I don’t know if this post helped answer your questions or not. I pray that you come out of your storm healthy and strong and trusting Him.


Hallelujah!

Be burdened

Burden defined: 1) Something that is carried. 2) Something that is emotionally difficult to bear. 3) A source of great worry or stress; weight: 4) A responsibility or duty.

“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: Love each other. John 15:16-17

We all have a God appointed burden to Love one another. Each of us, in our gifts, has their own personal burdens of saving the whales, fighting breast cancer, whatever it may be, but whatever the personal burden may be, they all spring from a love within us.

My husband is my burden. But through this burden of praying for and loving him, my burden has grown in that now I am burdened by the sin of adultery in the world and about the sanctity and restoration of marriages. Please know that I was not perfect in my marriage, but I know so much more now and I know how important marriages are not only to families affected by divorce, but to God. Saving marriages is my ultimate goal and my highest prayer. Saving my husband from the throes of sin and saving my marriage from divorce is right there in that mix, but my focus has truly shifted to helping others right along with helping myself.

A quote from B ill Bright says, “If God has placed a burden on your heart for a person, a group of people, a nation, or any situation, ‘pray without ceasing’ (1 Thessalonians 5:17), ‘ keep on asking, ‘press in, do not ever give up. God will answer. Great is His faithfulness!”

With all of the promises from God he has place in His word, with the burden he has laid on my heart, to pray for my husband without ceasing, to pray for my family to not be left – again, with the generational curse of divorce, I must keep on asking, press in and never give up. Neither should you.

What is your burden? Keep on asking, press in and never give up.

The Body Can't Live Without Salt

My daughter said to me today - "Did you know that the body can't live without salt?" So together, we decided that this would be the title of today's blog.

Matthew 5:13 Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.

In ancient times, salt was a very valuable commodity. Back then before refrigeration, salt was used to preserve the food. Salt was also the basis of much trade and commerce. In the Middle East, salt was used as a fertilizer on the acidic land - however, too much salt could also render agricultural lands useless for 10 years, something that was done to defeated foes to remind them of their losee.

The first thing we do as the salt of the earth is hold back or prevent decay. Just as salt in the ancient world was the only thing which prevented food from spoiling or going rotten so the Christian, empowered by the Spirit, is a barrier between the world of men and complete decay, complete rottenness, and complete destruction. God has chosen to make the Christian His front line of defense against Satan and all evil in the world of men. It is the Christian who is appointed by God to fight against wickedness and all the forces of darkness.

Instead of saying the Christian holds back or prevents decay we should say, instead, that the Christian preserves life. The Christian is a preservative that keeps life good and wholesome and beautiful – he or she prevents decay and destruction.

So - pass the salt.