Yesterday after getting home from work, I called for my cat Leah and she did not come (she is an indoor only cat). Being as I was rushing to get to Zumba, I didn’t stress on this fact. However, after arriving home from Zumba class and calling for and looking for Leah all over, it took me about 3 minutes for tears to be running down my face straight from my heart. It hit me in those short, quick moments all the things I have lost and been forced to leave behind. Anger hit me as well as my other cat recently disappeared and my husband has been saying that Leah will soon go the same way as Molly did. Molly’s disappearance was explainable as she was an indoor/outdoor cat, but Leah is always in. It hit me in those moments how after having lost so much, I was hanging on to Leah, one of the very few things that I have left to hang on to. Well, I introduced you to Leah before and that was because I had prayed for Leah when I was being brought to a point of having to get rid of her and how God answered my prayers. Well, in the midst of my tears after searching, I sat down to pray and asked God to help me find her. It was right when I was done praying that my daughter from her room said “why are you crying, Leah’s right there.” There was Leah coming lazily and sleepily from a really well hidden spot in my closet. Well, upon seeing Leah, I cried even harder as I grabbed her up.
This time I cried because God heard my prayer for this cat again and I was praising Him for answered prayer. I cried because I was happy. I just plain cried. Maybe I was crying in the first place because I needed to, because really now, crying over a cat is just not my style.
After I was done crying, I reflected on how God loves me so much that he answers my prayers about this dumb, fat cat. A cat I would never have picked if given a choice. Actually, Leah is nothing I would ever want. She is a female cat and I would always pick a male. She is a long hair and I think every day about shaving her, not caring at all what she would look like because that’s not why I like her anyways, but I don’t like pets with hair, the balder the better.
If God loves me enough to let me hang on this stupid cat, just think what he is doing in things in my life that really matter. Maybe God is keeping this cat around for me because maybe she is something he wants me to hang on to. I know for a fact that nobody else really likes her except for me so maybe there is a reason for Leah being in my life. She, in her nothingness, makes my heart smile, no matter what the circumstances around me are; I always can smile when I squish my Leah and she howls and screams. I can always smile when her fat self races to get to where I am going just to be under my feet and bother me.
So my prayer request today is that we all have a Leah. Something that makes our hearts smile no matter what. Although we really aren’t supposed to give much care to things of this world, maybe God wants us to have just one thing that we do really care about, no matter what else we lose. I truly wish that my husband were my Leah, but right now, God seems to want me to have her. So I pray that we all have that one thing that matters to us of this world. One thing that God blesses for us and keeps around, just for us. Hallelujah!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
Courage
Courageous people risk their lives to do what is right. What do you want your legacy to be? There is an example of this in the Bible in Exodus 1:15-22 "The King of Egypt said to the Hebrew midwives, whose names were Shiprah and Puah, "When you help the Hebrew women in childbirth and observe them on the delivery stool, if it is a boy, kill him: but if it is a girl, let her live." The midwives, however, feared God and did not do what the king of Egypt had told them to do; they let the boys live."
Because of these midwives, babies were spared. They believed in the power of God, and had the courage to go against what they were told to do by the king.
How hard it is to go against what the world tells us to do. How hard at times it is to be a Christian in this world where things are so acceptable. An example of this is that last my husband turned on a comedy show by George Lopez and I felt the offense of his language in the pit of my stomach. Mind you, I really have been of the world, and am finding myself amazed by the honest sickness I feel when I have to be in the presence of things that so go against the grain of what God wants me to hear. I often think of the child's song:
Oh be careful little ears what you hear, oh be careful little ears what you hear, for the father up above is looking down in love, oh be careful little ears what you hear.
I want to be careful. I want to be brave enough to stand up and leave the room, to say no to the world and yes to God.
How hard it is to stand for what you believe in, especially when the outside circumstance and the world are like a full stream going against your little current.
Today my prayer request is that we Christians can make a difference, even if we only look like a ripple in a huge lake and make and take a stand for what we believe in, and walk out of the room when the George Lopez's of the world are making their voices heard and the Christ in us sick at how acceptable foulness has become. It's not funny. Maybe we aren't risking our lives by our courage in this small stand, but we are risking being labeled as prudes, or holier than thou, but I think Christ is worth it. How about you?
Because of these midwives, babies were spared. They believed in the power of God, and had the courage to go against what they were told to do by the king.
How hard it is to go against what the world tells us to do. How hard at times it is to be a Christian in this world where things are so acceptable. An example of this is that last my husband turned on a comedy show by George Lopez and I felt the offense of his language in the pit of my stomach. Mind you, I really have been of the world, and am finding myself amazed by the honest sickness I feel when I have to be in the presence of things that so go against the grain of what God wants me to hear. I often think of the child's song:
Oh be careful little ears what you hear, oh be careful little ears what you hear, for the father up above is looking down in love, oh be careful little ears what you hear.
I want to be careful. I want to be brave enough to stand up and leave the room, to say no to the world and yes to God.
How hard it is to stand for what you believe in, especially when the outside circumstance and the world are like a full stream going against your little current.
Today my prayer request is that we Christians can make a difference, even if we only look like a ripple in a huge lake and make and take a stand for what we believe in, and walk out of the room when the George Lopez's of the world are making their voices heard and the Christ in us sick at how acceptable foulness has become. It's not funny. Maybe we aren't risking our lives by our courage in this small stand, but we are risking being labeled as prudes, or holier than thou, but I think Christ is worth it. How about you?
Sunday, May 9, 2010
I love my church
Today at church, I realized even more how blessed I am to be a part of such a wonderful church family and how much I love each and every person who walks through that door. My pastor, in honor of Mother's Day, got emotional when speaking of how wonderful women are and thanked the congregation and told of how much he loves us. I can relate.
I am on the worship team and no matter what I go through, Thursday night worship rehearsals and Sunday morning singing brings me so close to God and makes my world go away. We were asked to set a time to meet with our worship leader and I was afraid to set that meeting, thinking that I would get asked to tone down my worship because there I times I jump, I cry, I dance, I feel so free in my worship to the Lord. I was so afraid of this meeting that I shot him an email, hoping that would cover me, but he said no, face to face was what he wanted. Well, I had my meeting with him and on the contrary, he said that he was happy that I was a part of the worship team, that it was obvious when I was singing that I loved the Lord and was offering my highest part of worship that I could possibly give. He was right. It was funny, he stated that he remembered my phone call to him when I started attending the church and I had said to him that I didn't care if he let me sing on Sundays, I just wanted to rehearse and join voices with the others. I meant that.
Being with my worship team, I see us unifying and becoming one voice. Each and every person on the team loves the Lord and loves me and I love them in return. I am grateful to be a part of this team. I feel like I am home in a world where I don't know where I belong.
Nothing for me is all that great, but I'm getting a new routine that I am finding myself happy in. M/W/F I now have a Zumba class near my home that I get the special opportunity of doing with my step daughter. I have for this last year looked for something to do with her that would give us the opportunity to spend time together enjoying and we are both loving it. That and Ms. Muffin is ebbing away. Whoo Hoo - that's a big Praise God! I have never had an hour workout anything like this in my life. We took our measurements yesterday and I will report to you if I have lost any of Ms. Muffin in a month.
Tuesday nights I have a new small group that I am - surprisingly - very happy about. What a wonderful group of people. My only prayer is that my husband would join me, but you know. Thursday, as I stated previously is WORSHIP team, combine that with a Furlough Friday, and I'm a happy camper.
I have had a difficult past few days and I shared with a friend at church and she is going to start praying for me with power. I look forward to her prayers being answered. Which gets me to thinking. I pray for people constantly. Every person that I see that has a need. I wondered the other day if that random person I see walking down the street that I start to pray for. Do they feel my prayers? I hope I feel my friend's prayers because I need some strength. But at the same time as I need her strength, I am so pleased to see I have some on my own, that I am able to control myself in the light of having the opportunity to sin. I feel so strong even in light of my weakenss and hurt.
So today, please pray for all those who attended church today that they can look around them and know that their pastor loves them dearly and that those around them will be there for them just as my church family is there for me. That and that they too find their hearts overwhelmed with love when they look at their fellow brothers and sisters. May everyone who reads this find their niche in this world, even if it is as simple as Zumba, small group and Worship team rehearsal.
Happy Mother's Day. Hallelujah!
I am on the worship team and no matter what I go through, Thursday night worship rehearsals and Sunday morning singing brings me so close to God and makes my world go away. We were asked to set a time to meet with our worship leader and I was afraid to set that meeting, thinking that I would get asked to tone down my worship because there I times I jump, I cry, I dance, I feel so free in my worship to the Lord. I was so afraid of this meeting that I shot him an email, hoping that would cover me, but he said no, face to face was what he wanted. Well, I had my meeting with him and on the contrary, he said that he was happy that I was a part of the worship team, that it was obvious when I was singing that I loved the Lord and was offering my highest part of worship that I could possibly give. He was right. It was funny, he stated that he remembered my phone call to him when I started attending the church and I had said to him that I didn't care if he let me sing on Sundays, I just wanted to rehearse and join voices with the others. I meant that.
Being with my worship team, I see us unifying and becoming one voice. Each and every person on the team loves the Lord and loves me and I love them in return. I am grateful to be a part of this team. I feel like I am home in a world where I don't know where I belong.
Nothing for me is all that great, but I'm getting a new routine that I am finding myself happy in. M/W/F I now have a Zumba class near my home that I get the special opportunity of doing with my step daughter. I have for this last year looked for something to do with her that would give us the opportunity to spend time together enjoying and we are both loving it. That and Ms. Muffin is ebbing away. Whoo Hoo - that's a big Praise God! I have never had an hour workout anything like this in my life. We took our measurements yesterday and I will report to you if I have lost any of Ms. Muffin in a month.
Tuesday nights I have a new small group that I am - surprisingly - very happy about. What a wonderful group of people. My only prayer is that my husband would join me, but you know. Thursday, as I stated previously is WORSHIP team, combine that with a Furlough Friday, and I'm a happy camper.
I have had a difficult past few days and I shared with a friend at church and she is going to start praying for me with power. I look forward to her prayers being answered. Which gets me to thinking. I pray for people constantly. Every person that I see that has a need. I wondered the other day if that random person I see walking down the street that I start to pray for. Do they feel my prayers? I hope I feel my friend's prayers because I need some strength. But at the same time as I need her strength, I am so pleased to see I have some on my own, that I am able to control myself in the light of having the opportunity to sin. I feel so strong even in light of my weakenss and hurt.
So today, please pray for all those who attended church today that they can look around them and know that their pastor loves them dearly and that those around them will be there for them just as my church family is there for me. That and that they too find their hearts overwhelmed with love when they look at their fellow brothers and sisters. May everyone who reads this find their niche in this world, even if it is as simple as Zumba, small group and Worship team rehearsal.
Happy Mother's Day. Hallelujah!
Thursday, May 6, 2010
National Day of Prayer
"I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone—for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth." I Timothy2:1-4
Today, May 6, is the National Day of Prayer. I ask today that you will join together with millions of other Christian of all ages across the states, praying for our Nation, our President, Leaders of our Nation, for Congress, for the Supreme Court, and for all the branches of the Armed Forces. We need to pray for our state and local governments, for our educational system, our schools, our churches and all those people of God who are the shepherds teaching their flock the Word of God as they show God’s love for all His children and especially the families.
Closer to the home front, I ask you to pray for each other. We are each so special and I know that we are all trying our best to be the best people we can be. Let us lift each other up in prayer that on days like I had yesterday, (we’ve all seen them), that we are able to remain strong, to trust God and when things seem harder to bear than we can do on our own, that we reach out to a brother or sister who can lift us up in prayer so that we can stay the course. God gave us each other to use as tools to keep going. Pray that none of us isolates and withdraws or disappears. I love all of you and know you are there for me, please know that I am here for you as well.
Praise the Lord and Hallelujah! We are all loved by him in our differences – each and every one of us created for a purpose. Lets join together in praying that everyone will come to know the Lord Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord of their lives on this National Day of Prayer.
Today, May 6, is the National Day of Prayer. I ask today that you will join together with millions of other Christian of all ages across the states, praying for our Nation, our President, Leaders of our Nation, for Congress, for the Supreme Court, and for all the branches of the Armed Forces. We need to pray for our state and local governments, for our educational system, our schools, our churches and all those people of God who are the shepherds teaching their flock the Word of God as they show God’s love for all His children and especially the families.
Closer to the home front, I ask you to pray for each other. We are each so special and I know that we are all trying our best to be the best people we can be. Let us lift each other up in prayer that on days like I had yesterday, (we’ve all seen them), that we are able to remain strong, to trust God and when things seem harder to bear than we can do on our own, that we reach out to a brother or sister who can lift us up in prayer so that we can stay the course. God gave us each other to use as tools to keep going. Pray that none of us isolates and withdraws or disappears. I love all of you and know you are there for me, please know that I am here for you as well.
Praise the Lord and Hallelujah! We are all loved by him in our differences – each and every one of us created for a purpose. Lets join together in praying that everyone will come to know the Lord Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord of their lives on this National Day of Prayer.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
It's Gonna Be Worth It
There is a song that says just that. I often find myself funny in that my life is directed by songs. Today my heartsong is a mixture of It’s gonna be worth it and Standing on the Promises.
Standing on the promises of Christ my King,
Through eternal ages let his praises ring;
Glory in the highest, I will shout and sing,
Standing on the promises of God.
Refrain:
Standing, standing,
Standing on the promises of Christ my Savior;
Standing, standing,
I'm standing on the promises of God.
2. Standing on the promises that cannot fail,
When the howling storms of doubt and fear assail,
By the living Word of God I shall prevail,
Standing on the promises of God.
(Refrain)
3. Standing on the promises of Christ the Lord,
Bound to him eternally by love's strong cord,
Overcoming daily with the Spirit's sword,
Standing on the promises of God.
(Refrain)
4. Standing on the promises I cannot fall,
Listening every moment to the Spirit's call,
Resting in my Savior as my all in all,
Standing on the promises of God.
(Refrain)
Today my heart hurts so badly it is all I can do to not cry but I MUST Stand on God’s promises to get through this because it’s going to be worth it. I hate feeling so badly and hurting so much, but it is times like these that I must hang in there and praise him in the storm because God has promised me that I will be ok and fear is not of the Lord.
Standing for a marriage is extremely difficult, but even more so, it is hard to understand how a heart can so be hardened against God’s calling for one’s life. After all, Matthew 22:36-40 Says: "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
So today, I stand on all of God’s promises and pray for my husband to be touched by what the Lord is requiring of him. After all, as another song says “This is my commandment that you love one another that your joy may be full…” How simple is that?
Please pray for me to stay strong and join me in prayer for those around us who have forgotten how to do the simplest of things to do, to love. After all, It's gonna be worth it, God has promised. Hallelujah
Standing on the promises of Christ my King,
Through eternal ages let his praises ring;
Glory in the highest, I will shout and sing,
Standing on the promises of God.
Refrain:
Standing, standing,
Standing on the promises of Christ my Savior;
Standing, standing,
I'm standing on the promises of God.
2. Standing on the promises that cannot fail,
When the howling storms of doubt and fear assail,
By the living Word of God I shall prevail,
Standing on the promises of God.
(Refrain)
3. Standing on the promises of Christ the Lord,
Bound to him eternally by love's strong cord,
Overcoming daily with the Spirit's sword,
Standing on the promises of God.
(Refrain)
4. Standing on the promises I cannot fall,
Listening every moment to the Spirit's call,
Resting in my Savior as my all in all,
Standing on the promises of God.
(Refrain)
Today my heart hurts so badly it is all I can do to not cry but I MUST Stand on God’s promises to get through this because it’s going to be worth it. I hate feeling so badly and hurting so much, but it is times like these that I must hang in there and praise him in the storm because God has promised me that I will be ok and fear is not of the Lord.
Standing for a marriage is extremely difficult, but even more so, it is hard to understand how a heart can so be hardened against God’s calling for one’s life. After all, Matthew 22:36-40 Says: "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
So today, I stand on all of God’s promises and pray for my husband to be touched by what the Lord is requiring of him. After all, as another song says “This is my commandment that you love one another that your joy may be full…” How simple is that?
Please pray for me to stay strong and join me in prayer for those around us who have forgotten how to do the simplest of things to do, to love. After all, It's gonna be worth it, God has promised. Hallelujah
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Go and Sin No More
John 8:11 – Jesus tells the adulterous woman the above words. Do you know that this is not always that easy? That darn sin, you are going along just fine, happy and then BAM out of nowhere, an old comfortable sin comes along and says “Hey, I’m still here. Come on! Don’t you remember how much fun we used to have together?”
Sometimes, these thoughts hit me at the strangest times. Usually, I am able to brush them off by capturing my thoughts, but there are those times that I feel as if I need to chain myself down somewhere to keep myself safe. It is during these times that I often find myself crying.
I cry because I am so mad at that sin for coming at me when I am fine. I cry because I recall what that sin cost me in the first place. I cry because I thought I was free of that sin. I cry because I beg the Lord for strength to overcome that temptation to fall back into that sin. I cry because it is better to do that than to go and commit the sin itself.
I had a familiar sin relapse not all that long ago and was so surprised to see how I hated it. I was happy to see that I don’t think that sin could take me down anymore like it did before, which in the same moment also filled me with fear because that safe feeling is also a danger in would that lead me to dabble freely in my sin? No, that just made me want to stand up and say I will fight that urge even more.
I want to serve the Lord. In all I do and I do not want to go and sin. So today, I ask you to join me in prayer for all of those who have old sins that try to haunt them. That they have the strength to say no, to cry, to do whatever it takes to keep them safe. The strength to go and sin no more. Hallelujah!
Sometimes, these thoughts hit me at the strangest times. Usually, I am able to brush them off by capturing my thoughts, but there are those times that I feel as if I need to chain myself down somewhere to keep myself safe. It is during these times that I often find myself crying.
I cry because I am so mad at that sin for coming at me when I am fine. I cry because I recall what that sin cost me in the first place. I cry because I thought I was free of that sin. I cry because I beg the Lord for strength to overcome that temptation to fall back into that sin. I cry because it is better to do that than to go and commit the sin itself.
I had a familiar sin relapse not all that long ago and was so surprised to see how I hated it. I was happy to see that I don’t think that sin could take me down anymore like it did before, which in the same moment also filled me with fear because that safe feeling is also a danger in would that lead me to dabble freely in my sin? No, that just made me want to stand up and say I will fight that urge even more.
I want to serve the Lord. In all I do and I do not want to go and sin. So today, I ask you to join me in prayer for all of those who have old sins that try to haunt them. That they have the strength to say no, to cry, to do whatever it takes to keep them safe. The strength to go and sin no more. Hallelujah!
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Not Funny
Sometimes people carry things that aren't funny in the first place way too far. One of my fondest memories will always be the fact that my husband and I planned my daughter. You see, my sons were both unplanned - welcome - but unplanned. When my husband and I met he said to me "Someday we are going to get married and have a daughter named Gloria because everything that is good in the life is the Gloria." Well, those things happened (not in that order unfortunately) but they happened as he predicted.
When we did finally get together, there came a point in the relationship where we decided then and there no more birth control. It wasn't but two months later that we were expecting. I still remember taking the pregnancy test while he was out and leaving the results on the dresser for him to see when he got home and he was so excited. I was scared to death, but it was such a wonderful moment to plan my beautiful Gloria.
Well, since things went kind of south and since I am no longer a "decent" woman, one of the things that has gone too far and that hurts even beyond those that joke about it can know is that my husband says that he is most likely not even the father of my daughter. Because who knows how many probable fathers she could have right. (Don't worry, I don't believe any of that). If anybody knows where I can get a DNA test done inexpensively, please let me know.
Well, now he and even my daughter tease me mercilessly about who her father is, who does she look like, who will walk her down the aisle, etc. I don't think it is funny and I think it is purposefully hurtful.
So, yes, my daughter is my husband's daughter as well and no matter what, no teasing can take away one of my most precious memories. Planning a child with the one you love. How wonderful is that? I say completely and I hope that many of you know what I am talking about.
My prayer request today is that all of us can remember who we are in Christ when faced with the adversity of life. Even if it is in our own homes. After all, if Christ is for us, who can be against us. Hallelujah!
When we did finally get together, there came a point in the relationship where we decided then and there no more birth control. It wasn't but two months later that we were expecting. I still remember taking the pregnancy test while he was out and leaving the results on the dresser for him to see when he got home and he was so excited. I was scared to death, but it was such a wonderful moment to plan my beautiful Gloria.
Well, since things went kind of south and since I am no longer a "decent" woman, one of the things that has gone too far and that hurts even beyond those that joke about it can know is that my husband says that he is most likely not even the father of my daughter. Because who knows how many probable fathers she could have right. (Don't worry, I don't believe any of that). If anybody knows where I can get a DNA test done inexpensively, please let me know.
Well, now he and even my daughter tease me mercilessly about who her father is, who does she look like, who will walk her down the aisle, etc. I don't think it is funny and I think it is purposefully hurtful.
So, yes, my daughter is my husband's daughter as well and no matter what, no teasing can take away one of my most precious memories. Planning a child with the one you love. How wonderful is that? I say completely and I hope that many of you know what I am talking about.
My prayer request today is that all of us can remember who we are in Christ when faced with the adversity of life. Even if it is in our own homes. After all, if Christ is for us, who can be against us. Hallelujah!
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